shimarisu

Yesterday at our supervisor meeting the manager asked how many of us were involved in the promotions committee, everybody raised their hainds. I really wanted to laugh at some of them, but I've just gotten to the point where I don't care who gets the credit for doing most of the work. Although, most of my reason is that at best they hung up lights and made promises to build things that they never followed through with. I kept noticing them giving off sheepish looks and some of them glancing at me, I guess they were afraid I'd say something.

Apparently it was soo much better than he thought we'd do our first go round, and he was really happy with it. He told us he's trying to get something special for the promitions comittee...weather or not we win anything. He also said he doesn't see how we can't win any contests with what we've done. I hope if we win, we win money so that I'll get some.... if it's a trip or something then I bet I'd get the short end of the stick and be s.o.l. I spent 70 hours, give or take a few, off the clock working on this.

But now I'm about to go look for a third job so I can hopefully pull in more money. That'll be double hard what with the Rave being extra busy during the holiday season, and I like the hours... but I want to find a job that's less upsetting (I had a breakdown last Thursday where I just started crying when I was called in to work because I've not had a life in so long and I couldn't finish doing stuff for promitions). I also want it to pay better, as I'm trying to save up to go back to school... I'd like to go in the spring, and I need to so that I can get my insurance renewed on my mom's plan, despite the fact I never use it because my mom doesn't tell me what I can use it for. I really want to be back in school, unfortunately I don't make enough money to save up enough to go back....even the bare minimum just to cover tuition.

But I feel I deserve much better at the Rave, and than the Rave. Once a co-worker of my ranted at me "Why the hell do you have to have a penis to get anybody to listen to you around here?!" and I thought about it and she's right, you mostly do. I can half-way get them to listen to me because I've fought for two and a half years for it, and I am probably the most butch woman we have at the Rave anyways, much to my dismay. I'm often ignored, I'm probably more compitent than my male co-workers, who all have big egos and itch to get people fired, play favorites, gossip, ignore me and question the managers (or yell at them). The Rave isn't fun to work at anymore, and it used to be fun, even if I was more depressed at the time in general.

And I'm so excited about tomorrow, it'll be my first Rave-free day in a month! Although I'll probably go there anyways, as there are a bunch of movies I'm dying to see right now.