shilo

The future is scary. But I think I know what I want to do. I've done a lot of reflection on myself and my life right now and I think I need to stop worrying about what other people think, maybe even including my mother. I need to do what makes ME happy.

Drop out of this school, start at another that won't put me into so much debt maybe, continue modeling, start burlesque classes, be my fucking self and not some fashion drone.

I dont want to be a part of that world. It isnt me. Im creative, and Im more than capable of succeeding in fashion, but the truth is Im not enough of a bitch to make it anywhere. And I wouldnt have it any other way. Id rather not have to trample other people down to get to the top, which is basically what you have to do in fashion.

Ill be myself. Ill be clever. I'll be naked. Ill do things you might not always like. But at least Ill be happy and not feeling like I have to conform to any stupid stereotype. Fuck being a pretentious artist. Fuck it. Id maintain more dignity taking my clothes off than I would staying in this department.

Im making this realization now, and it feels great.

In other news, dying my hair pink today I think.

Update: