shesinparties

When I joined this site a few years ago, I was not in a good place in my head.
I was really lonely.
I seemed to draw friends on here pretty quickly, and I loved it.
SG was my social life.
I don't know how many times I stayed up til the wee hours talking with some of you.
It was great, and I guess it was what I needed at the time.

Then, one night about six months ago, I sent a random message to a guy here in my town saying I wanted to meet him.
I was half in the bag and never expected a response.

He responded.
We talked on the phone.
We met for beers.
Have been together ever since.

Yay!

I have never felt so loved in my life.
No fancy bells and whistles, just pure honest love and respect and loyalty.
Enjoying dinners together.
Hanging out watching bad tv and drinking beer.
We are really different in a lot of ways, he says he is built for speed and I am built for comfort.
He is really high energy, and I am retardedly laid back.
But our core values are both really old fashioned, so that works really well.


He is nice to my dog.
As in got my dog a gift card to Petco for christmas, how fucking great is that!
He carries my to go boxes.
His christmas gifts to me were beyond thoughtful and great.
He doesn't care if my legs are a bit stubbly at times.
He knows I will look gnarly after an 8 hour shift, and pays it no mind.
He put up with my mom for a whole day, that is monumental.

We talk.
We get along.
We laugh.
We argue amicably.
When I get all cranky and negative, he shows me how fucked off I am being.
And tries to show me ways to be better.
I love it when he gets ready for work at my house and my house smells like his coffee for hours.
I love that he makes me get up to let him out so the door will be locked behind him and I am safe.

The other morning I was a total shit around him, and it made me think.
I have to be more positive.
I have started to realize that I do have it pretty good, and I should just shut the fuck up sometimes.
I want to be better for him.
More importantly, I want to be better for me.

So, I don't think I will be around here so much anymore.
There are many of you that I will keep up with, people that I genuinely care about.
You know who you are.
But for the most part I just think I need to focus on other things rather than this place.
It just seems weird to me now.


Maybe I will pick up a book for fuck's sake.
I have spent all of my life taking care of everyone else and neglecting myself.
That has to stop.
I guess I am growing up in a way

I have to revel in the good in my life, and quit letting it pass me by while I do nothing.
Life is too short.
I need to go out and experience it