sherrillee

Avast, me hearties..................

What do you know? It's Sept. and that means it's time again for International Talk Like a Pirate Day. It's on a Saturday (this Saturday), so you won't be able to impress with your co-workers with your extensive knowledge of pirate jokes (it's drivin' me nuts).

On the flip side, they won't have to see you wearing your knickers and fake eye-patch.

So, have at it. Because, pirates are cool.

The Johnny-Depp-Keith-Richards-drunken-swaggering ones, anyway.

For the gents;
Aye, A fine firey lass was she! Hair as red as the devil's coals, a face that broke a thousand hearts, and a waggle in her hips that sank a thousand ships!



And for the ladies:




How To Be Speakin' Pirate-Like

Startin' Rules
1. Double up on all your adjectives and you'll be bountifully bombastic with your phrasing. Pirates never speak of "a big ship", they call it a "great, grand ship!" They never say never, they say "No nay ne'er!"
2. Drop all your "g"'s when you speak and you'll get words like "rowin'", "sailin'" and "fightin'".
3. Dropping all of your "v"'s will get you words like "ne'er", "e'er" and "o'er".
4. Instead of saying "I am", sailors say, "I be". Instead of saying "You are", sailors say, "You be". Instead of saying, "They are", sailors say, "They be". Ne'er speak in anythin' but the present tense!

Hints an' Tips

If it be helpin', start yer sentence wi' a "Arr, me hearty," in a deep, throaty voice ye'll find that the rest be comin' much easier.

Vocabulary
In which ye'll find words submitted by many pirates o'er the years, an' which comprise a loose piratical dictionary.

Ahoy: Hey!
Avast: Stop!
Aye: Yes
Black spot: to be 'placin' the black spot' be markin' someone for death.
Booty: treasure
Buccanneer: a pirate who be answerin' to no man or blasted government.
By the Powers!: an exclamation, uttered by Long John Silver in Treasure Island!
Cat o' nine tails: whip for floggin' mutineers
Corsair: a pirate who be makin' his berth in the Med-...Medi-...that sea 'tween Spain and Africa, aye!
Davy Jones' Locker: the bottom o' the sea, where the souls of dead men lie
Doubloons: pieces of gold...
Fiddlers Green: the private heaven where pirates be goin' when they die.
Furner: a ship which be yer own, not one ye steal an' plunder.
Gentlemen o' fortune: a slightly more positive term fer pirates!
Go on the account: to embark on a piratical cruise
Grog: A pirate's favorite drink.
Jack: a flag or a sailor
Jolly Roger: the skull and crossbones, the pirate flag!
Keelhaul: a truly vicious punishment where a scurvy dog be tied to a rope and dragged along the barnacle-encrusted bottom of a ship. They not be survivin' this.
Landlubber: "Land-lover," someone not used to life onboard a ship.
Lass: A woman.
Lily-livered: faint o' heart
Loaded to the Gunwales (pron. gunnels): drunk
Matey: A shipmate or a friend.
Me hearty: a friend or shipmate.
Me: My.
Pieces o' eight: pieces o' silver which can be cut into eights to be givin' small change.
Privateer: a pirate officially sanctioned by a national power
Scallywag: A bad person. A scoundrel.
Scurvy dog!: a fine insult!
Shiver me timbers!: an exclamation of surprise, to be shouted most loud.
Son of a Biscuit Eater: a derogatory term indicating a bastard son of a sailor
Sprogs: raw, untrained recruits
Squadron: a group of ten or less warships
Squiffy: a buffoon
Swaggy: a scurvy cur's ship what ye be intendin' to loot!
Swashbucklin': fightin' and carousin' on the high seas!
Sweet trade: the career of piracy
Thar: The opposite of "here."
Walk the plank: this one be bloody obvious.
Wench: a lady, although ye gents not be wantin' to use this around a lady who be stronger than ye.
Wi' a wannion: wi' a curse, or wi' a vengeance. Boldly, loudly!
Yo-ho-ho: Pirate laughter

Hmmmm, it seems to me that a certain someone had been planning to be wed on this day - but alas her affianced managed to dodge the noose by failing to finalize his divorce.

Good planning, Matey!

(Wonder how many years he'll be stringing along his poxy mistress?)

(ROTFLOL)