10 tips for happiness
1. Dont start with profundities.
Rather than jumping in with lengthy daily meditation or answering deep questions of self-identity, start with the basics, like going to sleep at a decent hour and not letting yourself get too hungry. Science backs this up; these two factors have a big impact on happiness.
2. Do let the sun go down on anger.
I had always scrupulously aired every irritation as soon as possible, to make sure I vented all bad feelings before bedtime. Studies show, however, that the notion of anger catharsis is poppycock. Expressing anger related to minor, fleeting annoyances just amplifies bad feelings, while not expressing anger often allows it to dissipate.
3. Fake it till you feel it.
Feelings follow actions. If Im feeling low, I deliberately act cheery, and I find myself actually feeling happier. If Im feeling angry at someone, I do something thoughtful for her and my feelings toward her soften. This strategy is uncannily effective.
4. Realize that anything worth doing is worth doing badly.
Challenge and novelty are key elements of happiness. The brain is stimulated by surprise, and successfully dealing with an unexpected situation gives a powerful sense of satisfaction. People who do new things learn a game, travel to unfamiliar places are happier than people who stick to familiar activities that they already do well. I often remind myself to Enjoy the fun of failure and tackle some daunting goal.
5. Dont treat the blues with a treat.Often the things I choose as treats arent good for me. The pleasure lasts a minute, but then feelings of guilt and loss of control and other negative consequences deepen the lousiness of the day. While its easy to think, Ill feel good after I have a few glasses of winea pint of ice creama cigarettea new pair of jeans, its worth pausing to ask whether this will truly make things better.
6. Buy some happiness.
Our basic psychological needs include feeling loved, secure, and good at what we do and having a sense of control. Money doesnt automatically fill these requirements, but it sure can help. Ive learned to look for ways to spend money to stay in closer contact with my family and friends; to promote my health; to work more efficiently; to eliminate sources of irritation and marital conflict; to support important causes; and to have enlarging experiences.
7. Dont insist on the best.
There are two types of decision makers. Satisficers (yes, satisficers) make a decision once their criteria are met. When they find the hotel or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want, theyre satisfied. Maximizers want to make the best possible decision. Even if they see a bicycle or a backpack that meets their requirements, they cant make a decision until theyve examined every option. Satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers. Maximizers expend more time and energy reaching decisions, and theyre often anxious about their choices. Sometimes good enough is good enough.
8. Exercise to boost energy.
I knew, intellectually, that this worked, but how often have I told myself, Im just too tired to go to the gym? Exercise is one of the most dependable mood-boosters. Even a 10-minute walk can brighten my outlook.
9. Stop nagging.
I knew my nagging wasnt working particularly well, but I figured that if I stopped, my husband would never do a thing around the house. Wrong. If anything, more work got done. Plus, I got a surprisingly big happiness boost from quitting nagging. I hadnt realized how shrewish and angry I had felt as a result of speaking like that. I replaced nagging with the following persuasive tools: wordless hints (for example, leaving a new lightbulb on the counter); using just one word (saying Milk! instead of talking on and on); not insisting that something be done on my schedule; and, most effective of all, doing a task myself. Why did I get to set the assignments?
10. Take action.
Some people assume happiness is mostly a matter of inborn temperament: Youre born an Eeyore or a Tigger, and thats that. Although its true that genetics play a big role, about 40 percent of your happiness level is within your control. Taking time to reflect, and conscious steps to make your life happier, really does work.
1. Dont start with profundities.
Rather than jumping in with lengthy daily meditation or answering deep questions of self-identity, start with the basics, like going to sleep at a decent hour and not letting yourself get too hungry. Science backs this up; these two factors have a big impact on happiness.
2. Do let the sun go down on anger.
I had always scrupulously aired every irritation as soon as possible, to make sure I vented all bad feelings before bedtime. Studies show, however, that the notion of anger catharsis is poppycock. Expressing anger related to minor, fleeting annoyances just amplifies bad feelings, while not expressing anger often allows it to dissipate.
3. Fake it till you feel it.
Feelings follow actions. If Im feeling low, I deliberately act cheery, and I find myself actually feeling happier. If Im feeling angry at someone, I do something thoughtful for her and my feelings toward her soften. This strategy is uncannily effective.
4. Realize that anything worth doing is worth doing badly.
Challenge and novelty are key elements of happiness. The brain is stimulated by surprise, and successfully dealing with an unexpected situation gives a powerful sense of satisfaction. People who do new things learn a game, travel to unfamiliar places are happier than people who stick to familiar activities that they already do well. I often remind myself to Enjoy the fun of failure and tackle some daunting goal.
5. Dont treat the blues with a treat.Often the things I choose as treats arent good for me. The pleasure lasts a minute, but then feelings of guilt and loss of control and other negative consequences deepen the lousiness of the day. While its easy to think, Ill feel good after I have a few glasses of winea pint of ice creama cigarettea new pair of jeans, its worth pausing to ask whether this will truly make things better.
6. Buy some happiness.
Our basic psychological needs include feeling loved, secure, and good at what we do and having a sense of control. Money doesnt automatically fill these requirements, but it sure can help. Ive learned to look for ways to spend money to stay in closer contact with my family and friends; to promote my health; to work more efficiently; to eliminate sources of irritation and marital conflict; to support important causes; and to have enlarging experiences.
7. Dont insist on the best.
There are two types of decision makers. Satisficers (yes, satisficers) make a decision once their criteria are met. When they find the hotel or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want, theyre satisfied. Maximizers want to make the best possible decision. Even if they see a bicycle or a backpack that meets their requirements, they cant make a decision until theyve examined every option. Satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers. Maximizers expend more time and energy reaching decisions, and theyre often anxious about their choices. Sometimes good enough is good enough.
8. Exercise to boost energy.
I knew, intellectually, that this worked, but how often have I told myself, Im just too tired to go to the gym? Exercise is one of the most dependable mood-boosters. Even a 10-minute walk can brighten my outlook.
9. Stop nagging.
I knew my nagging wasnt working particularly well, but I figured that if I stopped, my husband would never do a thing around the house. Wrong. If anything, more work got done. Plus, I got a surprisingly big happiness boost from quitting nagging. I hadnt realized how shrewish and angry I had felt as a result of speaking like that. I replaced nagging with the following persuasive tools: wordless hints (for example, leaving a new lightbulb on the counter); using just one word (saying Milk! instead of talking on and on); not insisting that something be done on my schedule; and, most effective of all, doing a task myself. Why did I get to set the assignments?
10. Take action.
Some people assume happiness is mostly a matter of inborn temperament: Youre born an Eeyore or a Tigger, and thats that. Although its true that genetics play a big role, about 40 percent of your happiness level is within your control. Taking time to reflect, and conscious steps to make your life happier, really does work.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
big_boy:
I wish I would have done #2 more............ 
wsoxfan:
Once again, you've hit the nail on the head. The only one I have doubts about is #3. I've found that trying to act cheerful when feeling badly is first of all, very difficult, and second of all, tends to make me feel even worse. This is probably because It hurts me to know that I'm not rteally happy and have to fake it.