Hello everyone, just a little update to keep everyone in touch with that crazy guy called Paul.
I am now to finish at Dogs Trust on Wednesday depending on wether I want to or not, can finish on Friday next week now, as per a discussion with Enid and my Boss today but will see about staying until Friday as I have worked everyday since April 30th and to have half a year without a single day off has told on me. I have been deeply praised tonight, having drinks with my colleagues and Enid has been a wonderful person to talk to and share the events of the past 3 months with and to re-assure me I'm not mad or mis-perceiving things.
By stepping back and letting you all get on with your lives, enabled me to look at myself, my way of doing things, my reactions and to be firm when my generosity is abused, even if accidentally, in future. Being firm and harsh will be my way forward from now on. I am still me, but I expect to be given in return what I give. Very few people like me seem to be left where we try our best to appease and help others at the cost of ourselves. I'm not one to rock the boat, and i myself have given others too much rope to disappoint me with. It's not anyones fault, its a mindset of expecting to be let down that I have allowed to set in. I give what I receive first, that is my new rule and is my future doctrine and I will still be my old funny self, you all know that, just glad I have identified exactly why I have my down modes and negative periods. I myself affect this and am glad I have solved this confusing dillemma with quiet contemplation over the past 5 weeks.
My old friend Wendy is due to fly in from Spain for a long term return back at Stansted Airport next Thursday night. The Pussy Mobile will of course exit the Depravity Cave and burning Pussy Juice from the local BP Station will find out exactly what has been going on with the Spanish Log Cabin saga and the rumours of what she has been doing to get planning permission
Eeek!!
Job wise, I have fully re-built my Payroll Standing and am leaving Dogs Trust with a full company and Personal Reference from my Manager. It was touching today that the Rehoming Centres all sent an email via Enid to pass on to me a message of thanks for being such good stand in for Enid. To receive praise from all those I worked with in distant places was deeply touching this afternoon and they all know I am a considerate soul. The new job roles, both Temp and Perm I have to go through on Thursday next week. I desperately wanna week off for personal reasons and I shall reveal more later on. I'll do France and Spain next year when I have money again.
Things are still slowly falling into place at the moment, I have inner confidence again, my easy going Chaos nature is now firmly back I now just need to make sure in future I put my foot down and am harsher when I feel crossed or unfairly treated. The past is forgotten, I had issues but they are erased now. New Slate New Start.
I shall be accompanied to the Rubber Ball by a mystery person and will be so glad to see you all, so I really hope you can all come along and enjoy a fantastic evening of the Rubber Ball.
All of you have been very patient and thankyou for giving me the time to reflect and adjust.
__Shemyaza__
I am now to finish at Dogs Trust on Wednesday depending on wether I want to or not, can finish on Friday next week now, as per a discussion with Enid and my Boss today but will see about staying until Friday as I have worked everyday since April 30th and to have half a year without a single day off has told on me. I have been deeply praised tonight, having drinks with my colleagues and Enid has been a wonderful person to talk to and share the events of the past 3 months with and to re-assure me I'm not mad or mis-perceiving things.
By stepping back and letting you all get on with your lives, enabled me to look at myself, my way of doing things, my reactions and to be firm when my generosity is abused, even if accidentally, in future. Being firm and harsh will be my way forward from now on. I am still me, but I expect to be given in return what I give. Very few people like me seem to be left where we try our best to appease and help others at the cost of ourselves. I'm not one to rock the boat, and i myself have given others too much rope to disappoint me with. It's not anyones fault, its a mindset of expecting to be let down that I have allowed to set in. I give what I receive first, that is my new rule and is my future doctrine and I will still be my old funny self, you all know that, just glad I have identified exactly why I have my down modes and negative periods. I myself affect this and am glad I have solved this confusing dillemma with quiet contemplation over the past 5 weeks.
My old friend Wendy is due to fly in from Spain for a long term return back at Stansted Airport next Thursday night. The Pussy Mobile will of course exit the Depravity Cave and burning Pussy Juice from the local BP Station will find out exactly what has been going on with the Spanish Log Cabin saga and the rumours of what she has been doing to get planning permission
Eeek!!
Job wise, I have fully re-built my Payroll Standing and am leaving Dogs Trust with a full company and Personal Reference from my Manager. It was touching today that the Rehoming Centres all sent an email via Enid to pass on to me a message of thanks for being such good stand in for Enid. To receive praise from all those I worked with in distant places was deeply touching this afternoon and they all know I am a considerate soul. The new job roles, both Temp and Perm I have to go through on Thursday next week. I desperately wanna week off for personal reasons and I shall reveal more later on. I'll do France and Spain next year when I have money again.
Things are still slowly falling into place at the moment, I have inner confidence again, my easy going Chaos nature is now firmly back I now just need to make sure in future I put my foot down and am harsher when I feel crossed or unfairly treated. The past is forgotten, I had issues but they are erased now. New Slate New Start.
I shall be accompanied to the Rubber Ball by a mystery person and will be so glad to see you all, so I really hope you can all come along and enjoy a fantastic evening of the Rubber Ball.
All of you have been very patient and thankyou for giving me the time to reflect and adjust.
__Shemyaza__
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
i know about the being taken for granted thing. i actually did it myself this year and didnt realise. im not defending anyone here, but it can be so easy sometimes ti get wrapped up in your own problems and you end up taking for granted people closest to you. something im very ashamed to say i did. on a positive note, ive recoognised i did it and i hope that it is the first step to not doing it again!
really up for meeting up again soon.
would love to see you