I just read an article on Yahoo! Finance listing 10 things you should leave off your resume. I've committed like 6 out of 10 errors, based on this article. Pretty much the only thing I haven't done wrong is adding a picture of myself. I love reading about how I've failed at a task. Lol Oh well, at least I now know what I've been doing wrong and can correct it. I've also discovered what has to be the biggest reason I haven't had much luck finding work. Employers typically seek applicants who have stayed on their jobs for more than 6 months at a time. And I haven't been on a job for longer than a year since I left the military. Oh Shema, you and your temper...
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I don't care what anyone says. Having a bad work history is almost as bad as having criminal history. I feel like I've just been released on probation from the Super Max Prison or something. I know ex-cons who've actually done bodily harm to people that can get work easier than I do. God bless America, eh?
In other news, I've decided to start volunteering my time to various volunteer groups and non-profits in the city. Maybe if I do that something in the form of paid work will come along. And hell, for what I'm being paid to do the job I have now, I may as well say I'm volunteering. Lol I found out there's a nature preserve close by that needs people to help with clean up and what not. And I love nature (in small doses), so I'm looking forward to that.
So what else is going on with me these days? Oh, I found out I might be losing my hair! I was doing some random, outdoor trench digging with my uncle yesterday and he was kind enough to inform me that I was getting a little "light at the top" as he said it. I immediately stopped what the fuck I was doing and ran into the nearest bathroom to see for myself. And he was right. My shit is thinner than a Victoria's Secret model at the top. Oh joy. I can barely grow a mustache and now I'm losing my head hat? Thanks a lot, Jesus! Don't question you my black ass. How come I'm losing my hair and the most ungodly dickholes in the world can grow their shit down to their toes if they wanted to? And you expect me to pay you for this disservice??? Yeah okay buddy, let me wake up with an afro tomorrow, then we can talk turkey.
If I really am losing my hair then this would be a low blow in a series of soccer balls to the sack for me. Sometimes I feel like I've been strapped to a conveyor belt and at the end of the ride there's one of those comical wagon wheels with a boot at the end of each spoke waiting for my nuts to get there. I bet I could actually find someone doing that to themselves if I went on Kink.com. Lol I'm just hoping that 20 years from now I can look back on this period in my life and laugh at how big of a crybaby I was being.
But on the bright side, at least I wont have to spend damn near $20 for bad hair cuts at barbershops anymore if my hairs gone. Cause I'll surely shave every single hair off. I'm not gonna be one of those guys with a bald spot, looking like the moon. Screw that noise. Plus I'll probably end up looking like Bryan Cranston from Breaking Bad. Which would be awesome because I can go as his illegitimate son at the next Dragon Con. Score!
Alright, that does it for this edition of Shema's Shithouse. Hope you come back for more next time. But before I go, here's some random hilarity as promised in my last depressing blog, lol:
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I don't care what anyone says. Having a bad work history is almost as bad as having criminal history. I feel like I've just been released on probation from the Super Max Prison or something. I know ex-cons who've actually done bodily harm to people that can get work easier than I do. God bless America, eh?
In other news, I've decided to start volunteering my time to various volunteer groups and non-profits in the city. Maybe if I do that something in the form of paid work will come along. And hell, for what I'm being paid to do the job I have now, I may as well say I'm volunteering. Lol I found out there's a nature preserve close by that needs people to help with clean up and what not. And I love nature (in small doses), so I'm looking forward to that.
So what else is going on with me these days? Oh, I found out I might be losing my hair! I was doing some random, outdoor trench digging with my uncle yesterday and he was kind enough to inform me that I was getting a little "light at the top" as he said it. I immediately stopped what the fuck I was doing and ran into the nearest bathroom to see for myself. And he was right. My shit is thinner than a Victoria's Secret model at the top. Oh joy. I can barely grow a mustache and now I'm losing my head hat? Thanks a lot, Jesus! Don't question you my black ass. How come I'm losing my hair and the most ungodly dickholes in the world can grow their shit down to their toes if they wanted to? And you expect me to pay you for this disservice??? Yeah okay buddy, let me wake up with an afro tomorrow, then we can talk turkey.
If I really am losing my hair then this would be a low blow in a series of soccer balls to the sack for me. Sometimes I feel like I've been strapped to a conveyor belt and at the end of the ride there's one of those comical wagon wheels with a boot at the end of each spoke waiting for my nuts to get there. I bet I could actually find someone doing that to themselves if I went on Kink.com. Lol I'm just hoping that 20 years from now I can look back on this period in my life and laugh at how big of a crybaby I was being.
But on the bright side, at least I wont have to spend damn near $20 for bad hair cuts at barbershops anymore if my hairs gone. Cause I'll surely shave every single hair off. I'm not gonna be one of those guys with a bald spot, looking like the moon. Screw that noise. Plus I'll probably end up looking like Bryan Cranston from Breaking Bad. Which would be awesome because I can go as his illegitimate son at the next Dragon Con. Score!
Alright, that does it for this edition of Shema's Shithouse. Hope you come back for more next time. But before I go, here's some random hilarity as promised in my last depressing blog, lol:
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
noro:
hahha yeah! maybe one day ill be a bearded mermaid!
kay:
ha ha.