shema

I want to move. I hate Atlanta. And the south in general. I always have. I hate the heat, the traffic, the government, the subtle racism..everything. I was born and raised here and I can't believe how I managed to endure it for so long. I have made several attempts to move in the past but for one reason or another, it never works out. And I end up stuck here until I can come up with a new plan of escape. Now I'm in school and determined to see it through to the end this time so I won't be able to plan a move for at least another two years. Fuck. They make this seem so easy in the movies. Just pack your shit and leave. And maybe it is that easy for some people. My hat goes off to people like Kurosune for deciding to make the leap across the country and actually seeing it through. But I apparently am not one of them.

I have the problems and responsibilities of a middle-aged man with kids and I'm not even 30 yet. I have a sick mother and grandmother here that need to be looked after along with younger cousins, nieces and a nephew that I'd hate to leave for any extended period of time. I wish I could just be one of those selfish ass-hats who doesn't care about anything but himself and just ups and leaves without even a goodbye note. But no...I have to give a shit about others. Fml.

I've done some research for possible places I'd want to move to if I ever got the chance. I was heavily considering Phoenix until I realized that as much as I might like everything else about the city, it still gets too fucking hot. Even without the suffocating humidity that lives in Atlanta. So that's out. I gotta go somewhere that's cooler than it is warmer. I just can't stand the heat. Fuck the sun, man. I can't wait for a nuclear winter. While everyone else in huddled inside, I'd be outside with my Morpheus trench coat and Timberland boots on doing cartwheels in the snow.

So where would be best for me to relocate to? I've heard some good things about Seattle from people like the lovely Blyde. But I've also seen a lot of good things in Ohio from people like Sunshine Shotgun Nessy Gallows Mittens and other insanely hot women that live there. But who am I kidding? I don't even converse with any of them on here so I seriously doubt I'd get to try my luck in Ohio. Especially if they enjoy the sun. Which pretty much all of them do. It sucks being a realist sometimes. But I did promise to take a funny picture with Nessy if I ever went there. So maybe I'll just go for that and if I like what I see when I get there, I won't leave.

I've noticed as I'm writing this that I'm more motivated about moving so that I can hang out with girls then I am about finding a place to live or a job so I'm not living at the airport like Tom Hanks in The Terminal. Hmm...guess I'm not as old and uncharacteristically responsible as I thought. I'd love to go back to Salt Lake City, Utah and live for the rest of my life. I've been there a couple of times and its hands-down the most beautiful place I've ever been. The mountain landscape combined with the downtown metropolitan area is tailor made for me. So Salt Lake would have to be at the top of my list for possible relocation. Or maybe I could just say fuck it and go to Iowa. Then I could find Heathen_, conduct a Jurassic Park style clone of her, marry that clone and then consummate that marriage until the DNA breaks down and she deteriorates into nothing. Then move somewhere else. Yea...all of that is completely doable right? I'll just need the most advanced technology that money can buy, Congressional approval, and consent from the Heathen herself. And she already said I could. So 1 down, 2 to go!

Or I can move to Wyoming and stalk Merlowe until I am discovered and she has me arrested. And since I've never seen cops in Wyoming I would assume that they would be Mounties chasing me down on horseback and tying me up with rope like they do at the rodeo.

I just wanna get out of the South so bad and its killing me that I can't. I hate it here so much that I wont even consider moving to the northeast or anywhere on the east coast of the U.S. I need to be clear on the other side of the country in order to achieve happiness. Well I've got about two years to think about it so I maybe by the time I graduate I'll have a plan set. But hell all I'd really need now is a job offer to get me on a plane off this rock and on to greener pastures. So I'll just keep my fingers crossed. Until it starts to hurt...