sheley

the more i get close to the D-day, the less i realize i'm leaving.
It's crazy.
Soon i'll be packing my bags. I'll get in a train and sit next to someone stinky, cool or creepy.
Pretty soon i'll be living with people i've never met before, maybe they're psychos, maybe they're amazing.
When i first talked to the family, i knew i wanted to be living with them right away, i just didnt realize how much of a huge deal it would be. And everytime i think about it, i just start freaking out and then i try and calm myself down. I guess i'm not prepared for that, but that's the point. If i'd be too prepared and mentally ready, it wouldnt be fun and exciting, i guess.
It's weird though, i'm leaving on november 29th and i had varicella last thursday, on the 29th. Call me paranoid but this is a freaking odd/good timing.
Or maybe i'm just lucky.

I'm so tired of staying home everyday, trying to find something to do, watch movies, geek around, play video games, read, and EAT. oh my god, staying home all day long really incites you to eat, my home is evil and my stomach's a capricious dumbass.
I've been playing mario party and puzzle bobble for 2 hours today, sitting on my bed. Geez i hate being sick.
I've also watched Ghost for the first time of my life (yeah, ino) and i thought it was amazing and i dont really like Demi Moore but fuck she was gorgeous in that movie.

I cant fight how i feel anymore and the more i stay home, the more it makes me think of things i've been trying to erase from my mind, things i've been trying really hard not to think about anymore and it's just aweful the way it comes right back in my face like a punch.
I cant move on and find a new girl when i still have feelings for my ex. So my mission for the next and hopefuly last FEW days i'll be staying home will be to work on getting her out of my head. COMPLETELY so i can start my new life, clean slate.
I really need to start fresh. Maybe get a new mind, brain, heart and probably new lungs (haha ok u_u)
Alriiight i'm gonna stop driveling.
have a good night/afternoon/morning/evening (or whatever) y'all.
<3