shelbs22

Hanging on...it seems way too long

...needing a hand but yours is gone.

Yes you have left..both of you..

Why did these things happen

Why??

"Death becomes you" she said so sweetly

Breaking my confidence, grinding it neatly

Shock, ambivalence and creativity gone..

me just waiting for the death called dawn.

"....When old age shall this generation waste,
Thou shalt remain in midst of other woe
Than ours a friend to man, to whom thou say'st,
" 'Beauty is truth, truth beauty.'-that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know." John Keats " Ode on a Grecian Urn"


To all of us on S.G.,no matter who you are, this is our truth....
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Don't know what to do. Isn't this familiar to you?? Can't seem to let go....

Going into the thought process tonight blighted by hiccups of fright,
seeing the moon pass over a hill, oh come to me come to me if you will,
can't stop it right now, have to keep going, keep going till the night gets done.
Alone.. dancing in the computer's light,...
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Figure modeled today. Had one hand in a strap behind me and over my head so that my fingers were touching the top of my head. The other was strapped and out in a sort of bottom half circle. Most of my weight was on my left foot and my right was up on a block. That left hip flexor ached!! 22 minutes on 8...
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O.K.here goes....Really now, is that the case?? I don't know but it seems to be.....He He.. Oh I see...got to burn a little longer....just got to let that thing simmer in the pot,,,,simmer in the pot...just let it go and simmerrrrrrrrr


. Oh how luscious, how feelingly smooth and warm and slippery...yes the simmering did it....AHHHHHH

People looking at me critically, eyes focused on my...
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Where have all the flowers gone??Long time waiting, Where have all the flowers gone, Long time ago, Where have all the flowers gone, Gone to grave yards everyone, When will they ever learn?? When will they ever learn"? I really do not know who wrote this....Peter, Paul ,and Mary??

"Let us go then you and I
As the evening is spread out against the sky...
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O.K......I am scheduled to do about 6 or 7 life modeling sessions in the next two months. And because I am on medicaid, I have to report all the money I make and pay taxes on it. Besides the overwhelming physical effort it is going to take out of me, I am stressed about all this taxes stuff. II want to just bale out and...
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IT is time to go to bed...But just cannot turn off the fucken computer. What am I looking for?? I don't know, do you?? Is the answer somewhere inside this thing?? Am I avoiding life?? My fingers just go "click',"click" and off I go to something else. Is there any sense in this?? I am confused and feel driven to not stop this fucken computer...
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Hey how are all of you?? I need a huge stress relief. I want to get bombed, drunk beyond belief but somewhere in my brain is telling me not to,that it would just make things worse. But why are writers like Kerouac and Ginsbeg such big drugies and also so creative?? Can it really hurt to get drunk??

I fell so lonely..like I am not really here. I don't know people in a real close way....they are just people I say hi to. I feel so lonely sexually. I am unable to let the people I need to know what my sexual feelings are for them. It is tragic...I have so much sexual desire and no one to share it with. I need...
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