more "charming" masked than unmasked

6

A coworker told me that I shouldn't be letting my charm go since I can't be masked any more at work and I don't talk to anyone beyond being polite or if necessary; I told them that my mask WAS my charm. They scoffed, but let's look at facts:

I've been single over 7 years now. In that time, do you know how many women have been interested in me romantically who have seen my face? I'd say ten, but I'm fairly sure that's an exaggeration and the number is probably closer to 6 or 7 (and yes, that includes dating apps and knowing someone in real life).

I am self-conscious of my mouth (a couple bad teeth that I can't afford to take care of look VERY bad when I open my mouth), and always have a worry that I have bad breath (that one's probably just my anxiety); wearing a mask I didn't worry about either of those things. That made me more prone to just strike up conversations with women without that worry kicking around.

So, my mask WAS part of my charm, and without it it's not like women are falling over themselves to talk to me or ask me out (they certainly haven't been for years and the older I get the less likely that's gonna happen).

P.S. This isn't me asking for affirmations or saying I'm "ugly", just being logical about the facts. And the facts don't lie...

VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
leighgabriel:
I know your pain regarding the teeth thing. I didn't look after my teeth nearly enough when I was younger. About a year ago, I had to have the top three taken out and ended up looking like a hockey player who had taken a puck to the face. I was so insecure anytime I had to speak to someone, and yeah, they noticed. I got a few jibes from workmates, but nine times out of ten, they were still cool. Charm and charisma are not directly related to your teeth, my dude. I hope you get your confidence back and while I'm aware this wasn't exactly the best comment, nor did it really have any good advice, but you have a supporter in me regardless.
fullfeeling:
I don't know anything about your teeth, but you know how I think of you as a person.  Your story brings to mind someone I met and worked with on a creative project this past year.  Dude is OK looking, smart, talented, worked hard, naturally likable and empathetic in all those little ways that show around the corners.  He was a good hang and a great collaborator and I hope to work with him again.  And he had a MESSED up grill, with some righteous halitosis.  He was clearly aware of these things, and it was hard to say whether he was trying to be contentiously polite, or if he was ashamed.  Maybe a bit of both.  But the better I got to know him the more I just wanted to say "please stop covering your mouth with your hand like a Korean schoolgirl, or hanging waaaay back physically, because I like being with you and am totally certain that it will only be more fun and rewarding if you're not self-conscious around me."  We didn't get close enough that I could say that, but I hope we will in time.

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