I have a female friend at work, and she asked what my IG handle was so she could send me a funny video she saw. I said sure, gave it to her, she sent me the video and it was indeed funny. About a week later, as we were chit-chatting at work, she said, "Shane, can I ask you something?" I said sure. She continued. "You follow a LOT of women on IG, and over half of them are involved in the adult industry. Are you also involved in the adult industry?" I said no. She then said, "Are these your friends, or are they just people you follow?" I admitted that almost none of them I'd had conversations with. She sighed. "Shane, and I know you probably don't want to hear this, but if I was single and I was interested in you and I saw you followed a lot of women on IG and over half of them were involved in the adult industry and you weren't in that industry nor were you friends with them, well...I'd probably stop being interested in you. That seems like a lot to ask a woman."
(Before I go on, she's in a LTR with a live-in boyfriend so I know she wasn't trying to subtly hint she was interested in me)
And I know, I can already see people saying she was overreacting or trying to be controlling or that it's weird that she went through my following list, and that I should be allowed to have hobbies and interests and whatnot, but I kinda think it may be a valid point. I mean, sure I love looking at beautiful women (who here doesn't?), but it's possible that unless a (at this point fictional) woman I met who was into me was also into things like SG she may view it as either I wouldn't be satisfied with "just her" or that I'm still immature and not really ready to settle down in a serious relationship.
She also knows I've been very lonely for a long time, and maybe she was speaking from the "average" woman's experience (yes, I'm fully aware that when it comes to women and their experiences, there's not anything average about their diversity) and just trying to help me out. I did go into my following list and realized that the majority of those women that I'd commented "beautiful" on their posts or reacted to their stories never even liked my comment or interacted with me at all. It's like they're celebrities, but worse somehow. Now, I'm definitely not saying that I "deserve" a comment back, but it's like I'm sending hearts and flowers into the void, just wasting my time daydreaming of their beauty when they literally don't even know I exist.
I haven't unfollowed the multitude of pages just yet, but it has given me something to think about. And, I must at least subconsciously think she has a valid point, cuz if I didn't I would have rejected it right away and not be writing a post about it LOL
