So I was thinking the other day about something, that on the surface may seem crazy but it's actually amazing. And that's the fact that getting divorced was the best thing that could happen to my relationship with my kids.
Before the divorce, I was a shitty parent (I was also a shitty partner but that's not the point of this post) and I expected their mom to do everything. When I did have to take care of my kids, I viewed it as an inconvenience or irritant. She tried to get me to change, tried repeatedly, but I was like one of those sitcom dads who was oafish and bumbling when it came to the kids.
But after the divorce, I had my eyes finally opened. I didn't want my kids to have the same experience with their dad growing up that I did (he was always working, long hours or sometimes 2 jobs, so we didn't really form a relationship until I was already an adult) so I was going to have to put in the work. And it was a lot of work, don't get me wrong. However, it was work worth doing, and today I think I have an amazing relationship with all 3 of my kids.
The saddest part is, knowing who I was back then and how I am, there was no way I was going to change my behavior; why should I, when everything was working so well for me (yes, that's sarcasm)? But because I was forced to confront my issues and problems, I was able to finally come around and be the parent they needed me to be. Sometimes painful change can lead to amazing growth, and you won't know it until you get through it and come out the other side stronger than you were before.
