I saw this post by an actress I follow on IG the other day, and although she was referring to how most women feel about this, I feel it could also apply to men too. Here it goes (and I'm paraphrasing her words since I can't remember the exact ones):
Women hate being in "the middle". Guys who only want sex and are honest about it are fine, as long as that's all the woman wants also - two consenting adults and all that. And, guys who want a relationship and are honest about that are fine also, again as long as that's what the woman wants as well. But it's guys who want to hover in the middle that drive women insane. You know those guys: they start by saying they don't want a relationship, yet over time they'll do relationship-y stuff like spend the night, cuddle, go to events together. But, they expect to have their freedoms and see other women if they want, and if the woman brings up that he's trying to have his cake and eat it too, then the man freaks out and says stuff like this, "Hey, you knew I didn't want a relationship when we started this thing, why are you being like this?"
And the thing is, I've seen guys do this to women, and it's bullshit (just like if a woman does this to a man). If you just want casual sex, then be honest about it; if you want a relationship, be honest about that. And, if things change -for instance, it starts off as just casual sex but one or both of you start to develop feelings for the other- then that's OK as long as trust and communication are established. People aren't mind readers, so if things change or if one person is confused by the other's behavior, there's no way you're going to resolve it without talking it out.
But wanting to have the benefits of a relationship without actually committing to one is cowardice, plain and simple. As the expression goes, either shit or get off the pot. Nut up or shut up. You get the drift. But, what do you all think?
