When you try to make it as an artist -no matter what your art is- you accept that unless you get very VERY lucky it's going to take some time to "make it". Rejection is something you need to learn to deal with, and quickly, or else you need to accept that maybe making it isn't meant for you. Most artists I've talked to who have made it always talk about how each rejection, each setback only drove them harder to prove to their critics that they deserved a place at the table, as it were. They knew that if they gave up, they were just proving the naysayers right.
But sometimes, you get to the place I'm at, where I still enjoy doing my art (writing), but I have no drive any more to face rejections. Instead of fueling me, I feel like I'm being emptied, like a death of a thousand cuts. That's why I've decided to stop submitting stuff - at least for now- because I just have no energy for it.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to keep writing, because being a writer is who I am. I'll still write blogs here a few times a week, and NaNoWriMo is coming up and I've had an idea I've been sitting on for a few months that I can't wait to commit to paper (or Word document, you know what I mean). If a contest comes up that I feel I am qualified for, I'll still submit to it. But I'm done trying and failing to get the attention of an agent or a publisher, and I have no energy for self-publishing right now.
The point of this blog isn't just about this, however; it's about how we don't really teach the young what to do when their dreams can't be obtained: sometimes temporarily, sometimes permanently. Lots of kids dream about becoming things like professional sports players or astronauts or doctors; unfortunately, the likelihood of those dreams coming true are slim. Sometimes it's just a timing issue, sometimes it's their body or mind isn't "strong" enough, and sometimes those dreams never had a chance of coming true. I don't say this to be mean or spiteful, but to be honest.
We need to make sure to teach them that there are alternates to those dreams; sometimes they can still work in the fields they were interested in, and sometimes they need to pursue a different life path. Not everyone can be a doctor, lawyer, scientist, rock star; that doesn't mean their life won't have meaning if they can't, but there's no shame in being a pharmacy tech, a law clerk, a research assistant, or a music teacher, just to name examples close to what I listed before.
There's nothing wrong with failure; it's the best teacher around. But sometimes the lesson isn't you just need to keep getting up, only to be knocked down again; no, sometimes the lesson is that maybe this just isn't your fight, and that for now you need to walk away. Only you can decide which is which, for your life.
