As some of you who read my blogs know, I talk about how everyone has a type and that there's nothing wrong with that...within reason. Because, sometimes having a type can blur the line into being a fetish, and most people resent being fetishized (for the sake of this blog, I'm not talking about a sexual fetish that one has, such as being into feet or being cuckolded, or only being able to get off by being pegged). Not sure what I mean? I'll explain.
So, some women really prefer black men (talking about tall, dark and handsome), and that by itself is perfectly fine. But, if you ask someone and they say something along the line of, "Well, it's all about the BBC and nothing else will do," then you're looking at a fetish. They could care less who that BBC is attached to, as long as they have one. If the relationship is purely sexual with no emotional connection at all, then that may work; but, if there are any feelings attached, being reduced to simply a piece of meat doesn't feel good to anyone.
And while sure, everyone has their personal preferences, stuff like what I listed above crosses that line. It's like this: I love tattooed women (obviously, duh), but if I met someone who was funny, beautiful, smart, driven, we got along great and she liked me back - but she had no ink and didn't want to get any - that wouldn't stop me from thanking my lucky stars that someone like her was into me. But, if I told her that it was either ink or no relationship, then my preference was now a fetish (and hopefully one of my family or friends would slap the shit outta me for that lol).
In this case, fetishes mainly refers to some physical feature a person may have, and not their personality. The fact that I'm a geeky pagan democratic socialist and I want someone who's very similar or practically the same isn't a fetish; it's more of I know that if I met an attractive woman who was a bible-thumping sports-loving Republican who turned up her nose at anything geeky it wouldn't work between us, no matter how much physical chemistry we had. That's just experience talking right there ;)
In the end, these shells we inhabit we had no control over receiving. The best we can do is try and modify it so it matches the mental image we have of ourselves. And, since we're all in the same boat in that regard, don't make it difficult for others by reducing them only to the physical characteristics they may possess that you prefer. That's not fair to them, and I hope that you're better than that. Take care, everyone.
