So, last week a local book club (that's part of a girl geeky group that my ex-wife and her sister belong to) had bought my 1st book, Arcanist's Lament, and they asked if I could come down and do a reading for their monthly meeting and to answer any questions they had. Of course I said yes, because that sounded amazing! It would be my first time doing something like that, and since I'd been to other authors doing it I had a fairly good idea of what it would entail.
I got there a few minutes early, eventually all 7 of the ladies that make up the book club arrived, and we got started. However, imagine my joy (sarcasm) when I found out that not one of them had actually finished the book. In fact, only my ex-sister-in-law had read the whole thing (since she had been one of my beta readers for it when I first worked on it) but even she hadn't read the new version of it, and only 2 others had even made it halfway through. 2 of them had only gotten in about 10 or so pages, and the other 2 hadn't even "had time to crack it open". So, the questions, while interesting, weren't the questions I was expecting.
Don't get me wrong, I'm happy they bought the book and happy none of them hated it, but still... It was more than a little frustrating. I don't know why I'm surprised, however. I mean, most of my friends and family have bought it from me, but I can count on 2 hands the number of people I know who have actually finished it (and 3 of those were my beta readers). My own girlfriend hasn't even read it! Yes, these last few months have been rather chaotic for her, and I understand why she hasn't had the time, but if she hasn't read it I can't get mad if others haven't had the time either.
The most frustrating part is, I can't grow as an author (and make a living at this) if people I know haven't read the book so they can recommend it to others. I've paid for ads, I've done a couple of videos for each book (a friend and fellow author did them for me), but ultimately what every new author relies on is word of mouth to spread their book. Without that, it's just not going to happen. And that's what twists my guts and makes me so dreadful, that I'm not going to make it as an author, that this was all just a foolish dream I had and that in a few months I will have to go back to work doing something I hate so I can make a living. Not a pleasant feeling at all, let me tell you. Oh well, as they say, you spin the wheel and take your chances, but most of the time no one gets to win big.
