I've had a lot of things going on lately. I feel like my mind is typically going in 6 directions at once.
I have more responsibilities right now than I've ever had. I'm grateful for them, but at the same time... I'm afraid I'm not keeping up as well as I should. I have people in my life that I can't afford to let down, and I'm afraid I am.
I'm thinking of getting a second job. If I do, it will solve some problems, but create new ones.... I'll be physically and mentally exhausted, and worse than that.. I'll have less time with my son.
I've been let down enough by friends lately that I'm seriously questioning some of my friendships. I have a long history of being a doormat. Letting people treat me worse than I'd like to be treated, because I'm afraid of losing them. This is a serious fucking problem of mine, and I need to resolve it. Quickly. My family should not be the only people I can rely on!
I also miss my family terribly. It's very difficult to be in this place where I feel like I have more love and support than I've ever had in my life, and at the same time feel more alone than I've ever felt.. because I'm away from those that make me feel so loved. ( if that makes any sense )
I couldn't ask for a more loving, supportive wife and friend than I have in Becky. These next 11 weeks until we finally live together are going to be the longest of my life.
I have more responsibilities right now than I've ever had. I'm grateful for them, but at the same time... I'm afraid I'm not keeping up as well as I should. I have people in my life that I can't afford to let down, and I'm afraid I am.
I'm thinking of getting a second job. If I do, it will solve some problems, but create new ones.... I'll be physically and mentally exhausted, and worse than that.. I'll have less time with my son.
I've been let down enough by friends lately that I'm seriously questioning some of my friendships. I have a long history of being a doormat. Letting people treat me worse than I'd like to be treated, because I'm afraid of losing them. This is a serious fucking problem of mine, and I need to resolve it. Quickly. My family should not be the only people I can rely on!
I also miss my family terribly. It's very difficult to be in this place where I feel like I have more love and support than I've ever had in my life, and at the same time feel more alone than I've ever felt.. because I'm away from those that make me feel so loved. ( if that makes any sense )
I couldn't ask for a more loving, supportive wife and friend than I have in Becky. These next 11 weeks until we finally live together are going to be the longest of my life.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
punknitemike:
keep your chin up man! this may sound weird coming from another guy, but just from reading your journals it seems you are one of the most geniune guys ive met here on SG, and that rocks! you do rock man!
koala:
I miss my family so very much each and every day so I totally feel ya there...Don't worry though...The time will pass before you even know it and you can all be together! Just try to hang in there! *hugs*
