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shawna

Muskegon

Member Since 2004

Followers 8 Following 6

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Monday Oct 25, 2004

Oct 25, 2004
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This is an email I just recieved from my ex-girlfriend. I thought I would share it because, apparently, everything I do is in an effort to get people to pay attention to me.

-------

Shawna-

If you want to have bitch fest 2004, let's be mature enough to take it to email instead of cluttering up other people's blogs.

I have no idea what crawled up your ass and bit you, but I really don't know or appreciate why every time something bothers you you feel the need to take it out on me. This has happened multiple times - you get pissy about something you can't fix, you lash out at me because I'm just supposed to take it (in your mind) and that makes you feel better. You block me from your Xanga and your IM for a while, thinking you're alienating me and thinking that hurts me. Actually, it just saves me the trouble of thinking of anything to say to you when you deign to talk to me. We really have nothing to talk about. Every time I IM with you, I get the feeling you're trying to shock or impress me, and I really don't know why.

I'm a bitch, Shawna. You know this. So why is it ok for you to be a bitch, but not okay for me? You are one of the biggest bitches I know - you think you can say whatever you like and no one will get upset, because you're just being "honest". Why is it any different for me? At least I don't vacillate between the two.

Suffice it to say, if I were there, and you had the balls to say any of this to my face, I would slap you so hard your head spins. If I were really the bitch you think I am, I'd have posted about how idiotic I thought it was of you to get your clitoral hood peirced. Cry for attention. Look at me, look at me, I'm so different, just like EVERYBODY else. Every time you talk about extraneous peircings on your xanga, or HOW HARD it is to go to college, boo hoo boo hoo, I'd tell you how stupid you are. I don't do that, though, because there isn't a point to it. You'd deny it anyway. You want to be so different, but you're just like everybody else.

I don't do that, do I? Nope. If you can't deal with me calling you a pansy ass - which I'm sure isn't even what is pissing you off - how are you going to deal with life? The only reason I said it is because the way you posted about handling the situation doesn't seem characteristic of you.

I know you think you're so put upon because of your upbringing. So you have/had bad parents. Get over it. You're so in favor of ultrafeminism, but you play the victim to get attention. You go to your campus events, you preach your rhetoric of tolerance, but really you're a hater like those you hate.

Are you really so in need of approval from me that you lash out like this? Or is it jealousy? Are you aching so badly for a fight that you have to pick one with me to get it? I pity you, Shawna. I am sorry that you feel the world is against you, and I don't know what your real problem is.

And as for my blog? It's MY BLOG and I can bitch about whatever I want, sweetheart. Don't like it? Don't comment. I don't comment on yours unless I have something to say that I see as constructive. Anytime you make a comment halfway related to the topic of anything I post, it's snarky as all hell and attacks a slight grammatical error, spelling error, or concept. "I can't take care of a baby, but at least I know how to use grammar!" la la la, we all know how perfect you are, Shawna.

Maybe I never knew you well at all while we were together, but I tried. Y ou wouldn't let me in. Every time I got close to knowing a little more, you shut me out - either by saying you didn't want to talk anymore, or by pulling one of your panic attacks, which I still doubt the authenticity of. I'm sure you enjoyed using me for my good nature, and I thought I was good for walking away every time I wanted to yell at you or smack you. I walked on eggshells around you and let you tear me down, because I knew you had had a bad home life and didn't want to be like that - well, I'm tired of walking on eggshells. If I'm bitter, well, nobody likes being used. If the persona you showed me wasn't the "real Shawna", how am I to know any better?

If you notice, I'm haven't brought anyone else into this problem. Let's keep it that way. This is between you and me, and I'd like to understand why I'm your most oft turned to scapegoat.

*insert witty comment or smart-ass remark here*

Heather
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
jaxs1984:
.....wow that was intense..... I'm speachless ...

btw, this is my idea of a mini-goth-chix its from the movie the ring


Oct 25, 2004
aikaterine:
That's because I lurve you! love
Oct 25, 2004

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