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shattered

Minneapolis

Member Since 2005

Followers 12 Following 5

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Saturday Oct 08, 2005

Oct 7, 2005
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Still sick with...whatever it is this time.

The smallest things are reminding me of him. It's been 2 1/2 weeks and I'm still staying up late at night hoping I won't cry myself to sleep. It's not every night, but...I haven't felt this insanely alone in the world in a long time.

It is so hard for me to trust people, to open up, to talk about things. He had me actually getting somewhere. I want that back. I want his friendship back. For cripe sakes, I actually feel closer to him than I did to an ex when I was still with that ex, and he was the first guy I had sex with; I thought I had it all figured out with that guy (I was gonna move to another city with him, of all things!). I've got friends I made my freshman year of high school that I couldn't talk to about half of the things I talked to him about. Just this odd connection that transcends friendship, something I haven't had with anyone else. I'm scared that I won't have that again.

He probably doesn't know that's how I feel.

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