I don't believe in God, but if he does exist I definitely believe that he is an underacheiver. I don't believe in George Bush either, I think he is a hologram, or at least a low-grade robot.
Two days ago I crashed my first brand new car. It is totalled. I ran a stop sign. It only had just under five thousand miles on it at the time. I paid cash for it. I've been popping xanax and sleeping like a baby, you know, sleep for three hours then wake up and cry for three hours, then sleep for a few more hours and wake up and cry again. My rental car sucks. I have whiplash. But my penis is apparently still functioning. Mahalo.
I had anal sex for the first time last week. Giving not receiving. And it was by accident. Tell me a girl hasn't been around the block a few times when it slips out and you manage to get it back into the wrong hole without realizing it. I feel really dirty. In most major religions sodomists are on the same ethical level as bank robbers. Something tells me its time to get tested again.
You know it all starts with a bad hair cut, next thing you know your new car is totalled and you have the clap. If it wasn't for buy one get one packs of cigarettes I don't think I'd have much in my life left to live for.
Plus, I have no friends on Suicidegirls. Which isn't all that bad because I have alot of friends in real life. Alot of people with alot of friends on Suicidegirls don't leave their computers to have alot of real life friends. But they have the one up on me, because I can't jerk off when I'm out partying with real people.
Two days ago I crashed my first brand new car. It is totalled. I ran a stop sign. It only had just under five thousand miles on it at the time. I paid cash for it. I've been popping xanax and sleeping like a baby, you know, sleep for three hours then wake up and cry for three hours, then sleep for a few more hours and wake up and cry again. My rental car sucks. I have whiplash. But my penis is apparently still functioning. Mahalo.
I had anal sex for the first time last week. Giving not receiving. And it was by accident. Tell me a girl hasn't been around the block a few times when it slips out and you manage to get it back into the wrong hole without realizing it. I feel really dirty. In most major religions sodomists are on the same ethical level as bank robbers. Something tells me its time to get tested again.
You know it all starts with a bad hair cut, next thing you know your new car is totalled and you have the clap. If it wasn't for buy one get one packs of cigarettes I don't think I'd have much in my life left to live for.
Plus, I have no friends on Suicidegirls. Which isn't all that bad because I have alot of friends in real life. Alot of people with alot of friends on Suicidegirls don't leave their computers to have alot of real life friends. But they have the one up on me, because I can't jerk off when I'm out partying with real people.