shanti

Its funny how life works out, how it unfolds, where our path takes us, the decisions we make, the people we meet, the lessons we learn and how it all shapes us into something more then what we were before.

I am trying my best to live in the moment, to enjoy what's going on right then and there, to appreciate it for its full face value and find the beauty with everything that surrounds me. It's very refreshing and if you are intrigued by this concept, I extend the invitation to give it a try for yourself.

Unconditional love is probably something ideally I strive to achieve everyday, it's not easy but with practice and time, it will get easier, that is something I am very sure on. There are people who are hurting, who have gone through pain and have not let it go, some may open up and admit they need help, some may let you know with some dysfunctional behavior or by lashing out, the old me would have fought back or cut them out of my life.

Patience & Love are two tools that carry far more strength then Anger.

I will forgive anyone who messes up or is being negative, I will not stop them. I will try my best to inspire them and enlighten them but I cannot change them, I cannot fix them. The only thing is be open and to give out only love and compassion because they need it the most.

My time in California this time around has been very inspiring & rewarding in many aspects. Just the simple things like Jasmine in the air at night, the way Djouli ( Fixer's pup ) will nudge me and lick me to death, late night conversations over chocolate mousse cake... trying out new restaurants with new friends.

So the battery to my laptop is about to die, I will update this tonight... lol

update:

i have a certain person in mind that really helped me out greatly in many aspects from improving myself, calling me out on things i need to change within and just being very supportive and open. they really took me under their wing on so many levels and really made this trip an experience i really did not expect or anticipated.

it makes me wonder how it came to be that our paths have crossed. how did it happen or should i not bother to explain it, just appreciate it.

as long as i can remember, from being a very young child, the outer forces or how all our tiny separate decisions play into a huge giant web that is interconnected and weave in and out until people experience moments of luck fate or coincidence has always mystified and fascinated me, my spiritual master and many mentors have often told me "there's nothing to explain, enjoy it and let it be..." still wont fully sink into my mind. i question how it works, what it is and where it stems from, is there really no way of explaining? have i really got sucked into this lifestyle of over information that not having an answer for this will pine away at me until i find some bizarre way of finding all the pieces of the puzzle and put it together.

i feel like trying to figure it out is just adding extra static into my mind and soul, maybe i am still very young in ways because i still want an explanation or the final answer. not having one leaves me uneasy and hungry.

is there something that has always stuck with you that you want an answer for?
what fascinates you and that you have not figured out yet?