shanti

for the past year, i have been in the single market, dating people... on the road etc, its hard to hold a relationship down when you're hardly around... and dating sadly does not satisfy some personal needs, dating the right person can be magnificent, dont get me wrong but there are a lot of shitty fish in the sea... and whenever i came across someone i enjoyed, it was either time or location that gets in the way *sigh*

i was introduced to someone two months ago and have hung out with them under a dozen times...
turned out we both had crushes on each other but both a bit too shy to makes moves...

the new roommate is how i met this person and she got the hint from him that he liked me, and kinda hinted to him that i liked him, bla bla bla... all three of us went and checked out a lupe fiasco concert... it was pretty much the worse concert i had been to in my whole entire life, from a PR standpoint it was so poorly organized... too many patrons compared to staff, too many ridiculous rules and not enough logical structure... plus lupe fiasco starting each song with a justice song? cmawn... give me a break.

then on top of all this to find out that the university of manitoba shelled 60 000$ to get him and then bomb that badly on terms of organization and deployment to the point where the concert almost got shut down before it started? holy shit balls batman... the roommate and i were royally wasted and lost the boy... it was no big deal and i had to head over to another gig to take pictures... it was a sheer night of gongshow, two bottles of wine, two bottles of champagne and some party favors alongside, oh my!

time passes forward ...
& the next thing to happen is i decided to grow a pair and ask him if he wanted to hang out on the weekend, my roommate was heading back to the country to visit the fam, sooo perfect... had the place to myself, we could watch a movie and maybe release the shyness going on between us two... his phone ends up fucking up and the hangout falls thru... later on this week im at my moms and he's hanging out with my roommate and she's like dude, what happened? and he goes, well should i ask her to hangout? well yeah, she asked you first and it fell thru, ball is in your court... ( what a good roommate! )

next thing i know he calls me up asking if i wanted to check out a movie at this film group, me having three years of a four year film degree belt was like super stoked on this invitation, this is totally up my alley...
got the warning that this movie is a bit intense but... im totally a fan of dark bizarre flicks so without being told the premise or the title, we agree on hanging out and checking out this flick...

the date commences with sushi, which if you know me, will know that sushi is my crack. if i had to choose one thing to eat forever and only receive that, i would chose sushi without a doubt... it was so rewarding and refreshing to go out for sushi with someone who knows everything about sushi, we're talking about what we do, travels, etc etc... everything he says has me thinking " where have you been all my life? ", our convo at dinner had me totally sprung, we have hours to kill still before the film, we agree on going for a walk and getting some coffee... our amazing conversation blossoms into over amazing mode. we realize somehow two hours had gone thru like five mins & we had to get to said movie, well the movie we watched was anitchrist... its simply beautiful and a heavy watch, it will move you, blow your mind, baffle you and leave you shook. but it was far more intense then the either of us had guessed... we both walked out shellshocked with tummy aches and going woah that was so crazy... the date ends with no kiss cause well we're both still shy... and agreements to go check out a john peel documentary on saturday and him coming to an event i was head bartender on friday...

he popped in on friday despite the fact he was exhausted from work and left early but made sure to say goodbye and gave me a hug with a peck on the cheek... cocoons burst in my belly and butterflies were fluttering everywhere... i didnt leave the bar until 5 am that night, he calls me at noon while im still asleep, wakes me up and realizes i had been up on friday from 6 am to 6 am saturday and apologizes, i wake up and he comes over to my place, i quickly get ready and we head to the doc, we have thai food and walk for an hour at night under snow flurries, so romantic... he still wanted to hang so we head to my place where i realize the other roommate is bringing a boy over, and i am one to respect people's space... we head over to his... we watch a cheesy move and finally the moment we both had been waiting for, we made out... it was crazy ( in a good way) i fall asleep to only wake up at one point to figure out that a) the movie had ended and b) put a pillow under my head & tucked me into a blanket

if only you could look into his eyes or see his smile... you would understand what ive fallen head over heels over, or got to know his personality, so chill, straight up & positive. its scary to admit but i think i could actually commit to this one... its even scarier to realize that i had lowered my standards after talking myself into believing what i was looking for was probably impossible to find, he's everything ive ever wanted and then some... when we hang out, i feel warm fuzzies and this song is playing in the back of my mind...




my heart is heavy & the feelings are legit... an added bonus is that its mutual...
now im reading over this and its hit me, ive somehow transformed into a gooey warm ball of cheese...