shanni

sooo much bullshit going on. Sorry i neglect this, and you all as well. =/

i'm at the point in my life where SOMETHING has got to give. Something needs to happen that will change my life for the better, or i'm pretty much gonna succumb to the nothing that i have been so far. i do not want that. Lately i've gotten much grief for even wanting to be on this site, and actually thought i never would be for awhile. There's alot of inner turmoil going on about this, but i feel that i need to do things for ME, no matter how hard they are or who i displease

Lost someone i wanted to keep, who changed me for the better and got me to re-think alot of things about life and more importantly, myself. Shits bad right now so i just need to keep busy, keep taking that wellbutrin and even if it isn't for SG i need to shoot shoot shoot. I had all the motivation and drive that i needed to actually do the million things that i want/need to do. That person was that change for the better that i needed, and i had confidence and sooo much desire to actually get things done, but all that was suddenly pulled from underneath my feet. Whatever i do decide to pursue, i have to do it on my own now. And that is fine, as i wont be the first.

A close friend of mine told me that i'm drowning and that when she was in the same situation, getting out was the answer. Thought about that a great deal and i think it is actually time to hit the road and go wherever my size 6 feet want to go. just don't know where, and don't have the money for that yet haha. Not a permanent move yet, for my grandma is getting a much worse and i'm finding myself having to take up more and more of my time caring for her as of late. Can't abandon her like my sister wants to do. So just getting away for a short while might sort my head out a bit. Any lovely ladies that would take me in for a week or two, feel free to raise your hands haha

So sorry i don't have anything interesting or positive to talk about, if you don't like it then...don't read my shit?

FOLLOW ME ON TWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITER @Shaniqua_nyc !

gogogogogogo because i spend half of my life tweeting anyway, and its usually describing graphic sexual acts (there won't be any of THAT going on anymore though), me eating alot of food, dork things, emo rants, shoes, etc

And with that, i'll close with informing you all that John Mayer completely ruins my hard. Shits happened more than once now hate that nigga