Depression hits hard again. yay me. oh well, im used to it. just like im used to being alone, dissapointed, and stuck in life. i guess feeling happy or content is just too much to ask for.
chaos. the world revolves around. a god, nothings there. karma, a simple fairytale. love, a childhood lie. nothing here to save you. nothing here to fear. only chaos, loss, and time, ticking till you run out. goodbye hope. ive no more dreams. goodbye love, how foolish i was. goodbye lust, a passing distraction. im all alone now. and i cant be found.
chaos. the world revolves around. a god, nothings there. karma, a simple fairytale. love, a childhood lie. nothing here to save you. nothing here to fear. only chaos, loss, and time, ticking till you run out. goodbye hope. ive no more dreams. goodbye love, how foolish i was. goodbye lust, a passing distraction. im all alone now. and i cant be found.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
i have often thought that there was something wrong with me; everyone i cared about either never really saw me, or they left me for another female, or the city. i have slept with monsters, fucked Eros, fell in love with Orpheus. Even if none of them stay, even if they end up leaving me, because all (i think) i'm good for, sometimes, is fucking, i still refuse to give up. i know what i lost to a chemical boy is out there in someone else. He might be the man with calm-before-the-storm eyes and hair that reminds me of Autumn, the one who tells me that he likes my words and plays his music that makes me want him more, or he might be a boy with his cherry cyanide girl who tells him to stop looking for the mermaids in the ocean. In the end, love can't find you if you just run so far ahead of it.
Things will get better. I think in the end we are all essentially alone but sometimes this is better than a lot of the alternatives.
xo