Sometimes I think that I am a manic depressive, other times I know I am!
I don't know if it is my impending PERIOD or what (BTW I heard Hank from King of the Hill telling Bobby that it's like a tire fire, you just have to let it burn and grab a beer... something to that affect) anyways back to the cause... Michael has been a bit tempermental with me and I have been a bit moody because of it. Which makes for a very annoying time... It goes like this
What's wrong? -M
Nothing....S (even though I'm clearly upset)
Don't tell me nothing, somethings wrong!-M
Nothing, God!-S (annoyed)
Fine.-M
few minutes later
What's wrong?-M
NOTHING!-S
Really what's wrong snuckums?-M
(all crybaby like in a shrill sometimes heard by dogs) I just think that you should watch what you say, i mean you are the one person that I'm suppose to get my affection from and (insert whatever b/c I probably said it)
I know another part of it is because I still have yet to break up with W. I'm going to do it. I just am bad about ending things. I've never had to do something like this, something that is so final and close a chapter in my life. But I know I have to. Because how am I ever to be happy with Michael? I hope that is a good thing. I've gone to far for it not to be. But given his history and mine, I wonder. Mostly about the way future. I hate to admit it... Really I do. But after working at TWO bridal places I want to have a wedding, with the right person and I want to have kids when I am ready. And that's what has been bothering me. Because it's not appropriate to talk about those things so early on right? Just scare him.. But I feel like I need some semi-quasi definite answers. If only to know that I will have to move on in a couple of years. Which you should never find a reason not to stay with someone. But I know that I feel like he is who I want to be with and I would be really sad not to have him. Which sucks that I feel this way. Only because it surrenders my control to someone else.
I think that I should become the cat lady....
I don't know if it is my impending PERIOD or what (BTW I heard Hank from King of the Hill telling Bobby that it's like a tire fire, you just have to let it burn and grab a beer... something to that affect) anyways back to the cause... Michael has been a bit tempermental with me and I have been a bit moody because of it. Which makes for a very annoying time... It goes like this
What's wrong? -M
Nothing....S (even though I'm clearly upset)
Don't tell me nothing, somethings wrong!-M
Nothing, God!-S (annoyed)
Fine.-M
few minutes later
What's wrong?-M
NOTHING!-S
Really what's wrong snuckums?-M
(all crybaby like in a shrill sometimes heard by dogs) I just think that you should watch what you say, i mean you are the one person that I'm suppose to get my affection from and (insert whatever b/c I probably said it)
I know another part of it is because I still have yet to break up with W. I'm going to do it. I just am bad about ending things. I've never had to do something like this, something that is so final and close a chapter in my life. But I know I have to. Because how am I ever to be happy with Michael? I hope that is a good thing. I've gone to far for it not to be. But given his history and mine, I wonder. Mostly about the way future. I hate to admit it... Really I do. But after working at TWO bridal places I want to have a wedding, with the right person and I want to have kids when I am ready. And that's what has been bothering me. Because it's not appropriate to talk about those things so early on right? Just scare him.. But I feel like I need some semi-quasi definite answers. If only to know that I will have to move on in a couple of years. Which you should never find a reason not to stay with someone. But I know that I feel like he is who I want to be with and I would be really sad not to have him. Which sucks that I feel this way. Only because it surrenders my control to someone else.
I think that I should become the cat lady....
I think that's all I can give you for now honey. I'm not sure I understand relationships well enough to tell you anything else.