Last night, after a movie, I started sobbing. It was built up feelings from finding a bill that showed Michael paid the car payment late. The car that I cosigned and now have on my credit. In my head, thoughts raced about him leaving me with bad credit, not having any goals with him not for him, and feeling betrayed.
I felt betrayed because in the past 4-6 months, I haven't looked at any bills. I didn't open them, even though they come in my name. I left him pay it, thinking it was totally ok. But I read one while cleaning and well, it was a couple of days late. Not 10 but late. With my ex, he lied to me all the time about money. I moved to SHreveport thinking he had things under control, but he didn't. He was a month late on rent, late on water that got cut off, late on the phone, everything. And I spiraled into thinking that Michael and Wensly were the same. Thinking he would lie to me, leave me in the cold, and never discuss or even have hopes of a real future. I felt very disrespected.
In the end Michael told me that he is trying to fix a life where he works and I am able to run my business. That he wants to buy a house and we could move one day if his company wants to, which is fine because I don't think Florida is home for me. Previously we talked about getting a house in two years and a baby. Somewhere in between getting married. Who knows.
I called Toyota and it hasn't been reported delinquent. So I am finanically fine. ANd I am working on the emotional fine now.
The movie? Well, it was a Russian film called Nightwatchers. Honestly during the movie I was being a bit of a puss and I didn't want to like it. But it was a good Underworld type movie. I like it.
I received a box from Gen Saturday. It had all kinds of goodies, dvd's of lyric, shirts.. Yeah
.
I look kind of retarded with that grin and my lip has a hole in it.
I felt betrayed because in the past 4-6 months, I haven't looked at any bills. I didn't open them, even though they come in my name. I left him pay it, thinking it was totally ok. But I read one while cleaning and well, it was a couple of days late. Not 10 but late. With my ex, he lied to me all the time about money. I moved to SHreveport thinking he had things under control, but he didn't. He was a month late on rent, late on water that got cut off, late on the phone, everything. And I spiraled into thinking that Michael and Wensly were the same. Thinking he would lie to me, leave me in the cold, and never discuss or even have hopes of a real future. I felt very disrespected.
In the end Michael told me that he is trying to fix a life where he works and I am able to run my business. That he wants to buy a house and we could move one day if his company wants to, which is fine because I don't think Florida is home for me. Previously we talked about getting a house in two years and a baby. Somewhere in between getting married. Who knows.
I called Toyota and it hasn't been reported delinquent. So I am finanically fine. ANd I am working on the emotional fine now.
The movie? Well, it was a Russian film called Nightwatchers. Honestly during the movie I was being a bit of a puss and I didn't want to like it. But it was a good Underworld type movie. I like it.
I received a box from Gen Saturday. It had all kinds of goodies, dvd's of lyric, shirts.. Yeah
.
I look kind of retarded with that grin and my lip has a hole in it.
sorry, i didnt understand the message you left on my phone and my phone was dead all weekend. we just got "home" and its too late to call. I'll try to talk to you tomorrow...
XOXO
g