Be more specific, huh? Hrmmmm...I don't think I can right now. But here is a blog I posted in July; the feeling is similar and just as complex... but completely different. This time it was when I was listening to Tiger Army... and these deep, complex feelings just hit me out of nowhere... it is if I had the power to grasp everything... it was just a very elevated state of mind and spirituality... I was captivated by life. Haha keep me away from acid... if I am like this when I am sober who knows what trippy shit i can come up with...
BLOG: originally posted JUL 11, 2006
Does anyone ever have one of those fleeting moments where you are living in a dream, apart from every reality you have come to know, yet you feel as if this dream, this wonderful, elational, euphorial state of being is the most real and beautiful thing you have ever felt? It makes everything Ive come to know seem minute everything I fight for in this world turn from something solid, sensible, logical, tangible into a puff of dispersed nothing-ness with a faint of color, and I realize that it will die with me, that reality.
I am in a meditative state of enlightenment apart from everything of this world, and all of the suffocating rules, conspiracies, psychological mindsets, even the urban nightmare plethora of buildings, streets, sidewalks, and flashing lights is gone. I am in my own floating dream bubble of space, apart from everything I have seen and thought but for that I remember it, vividly. I remember each phase of my life as if I were really there again; the exact frame of mind, window of reference, state of being, even old smells. My life and my thousands of transcendences are passing through my consciousness and I think: Wow. I am amazing. My life has been amazing. I miss the mes of the past before experience and learning brought me to the next phase of my. Progress, or consciousness, or perception of reality, or being however it could be verbalized. I am on a spinning cosmic teeter-totter where I inhabit both sides, pushing up confusedly each time in turn as I try to balance my worldly knowledge with my spiritual wisdom, my selves of the past with my selves of the present, against who I try to be, what I make manifest of it all to relate to other people. I have become buried for so long in the events of the world, compromising myself for each person I communicate with so as to best relate to them, burying myself in colorful recycled words others spit out in the bright, shiny facade of profound insight and unique wisdom, and I get convinced that this is what life IS. This is me. I am content yet a deep yet a deep part of my being is darkly restless and severely discontent.
Then, I have moments like this, where by some immeasurable miracle or joke, I am let into a deeply buried level of secrecy beyond anything, everything, and I wonder, who am I? What is this? What is this that I see before me? Is it this or do I change it through my perception of reality? Einstein did say Reality is an illusion. (haha.) Every action I though admirable and wise becomes futile and laughable. The ritual people immerse themselves in with such----. The need to criticize, judge, get approval for anything you do and have green paper to show for your hard work or intelligence or beauty. Green paper holding so much power over the human heart and the systems of the world is so sad and pathetic as to incite me into a fit of tears and laughter at the same time. The best things in life cannot have any value put onto them with a material object. I dont think anything we ever give, get, or want should ever be paid for, not in that way. Money is not just the root of all evil, it has become a means of holding human beings down. Weve strangled ourselves into an immobile, lethargic, simple life with our own hands. As Tim Kasher put it, One hand will build what the other hand breaks. Yet, if the monetary system is extinguished, will another way be created to continue on the same downward spiral? Is it really human nature, or just a phase before we move on to greater things through expansion of spirituality and consciousness?
Teeter-totter dream or reality, reality or illusion beneath it all there is always the unchangeable me, before the layers get added back on to add variation. You can never change a person, they just find things within themselves.
END OF BLOG
But see it was brought about by completely different things... so it is not the same!!! I just dont have the words this time around
BLOG: originally posted JUL 11, 2006
Does anyone ever have one of those fleeting moments where you are living in a dream, apart from every reality you have come to know, yet you feel as if this dream, this wonderful, elational, euphorial state of being is the most real and beautiful thing you have ever felt? It makes everything Ive come to know seem minute everything I fight for in this world turn from something solid, sensible, logical, tangible into a puff of dispersed nothing-ness with a faint of color, and I realize that it will die with me, that reality.
I am in a meditative state of enlightenment apart from everything of this world, and all of the suffocating rules, conspiracies, psychological mindsets, even the urban nightmare plethora of buildings, streets, sidewalks, and flashing lights is gone. I am in my own floating dream bubble of space, apart from everything I have seen and thought but for that I remember it, vividly. I remember each phase of my life as if I were really there again; the exact frame of mind, window of reference, state of being, even old smells. My life and my thousands of transcendences are passing through my consciousness and I think: Wow. I am amazing. My life has been amazing. I miss the mes of the past before experience and learning brought me to the next phase of my. Progress, or consciousness, or perception of reality, or being however it could be verbalized. I am on a spinning cosmic teeter-totter where I inhabit both sides, pushing up confusedly each time in turn as I try to balance my worldly knowledge with my spiritual wisdom, my selves of the past with my selves of the present, against who I try to be, what I make manifest of it all to relate to other people. I have become buried for so long in the events of the world, compromising myself for each person I communicate with so as to best relate to them, burying myself in colorful recycled words others spit out in the bright, shiny facade of profound insight and unique wisdom, and I get convinced that this is what life IS. This is me. I am content yet a deep yet a deep part of my being is darkly restless and severely discontent.
Then, I have moments like this, where by some immeasurable miracle or joke, I am let into a deeply buried level of secrecy beyond anything, everything, and I wonder, who am I? What is this? What is this that I see before me? Is it this or do I change it through my perception of reality? Einstein did say Reality is an illusion. (haha.) Every action I though admirable and wise becomes futile and laughable. The ritual people immerse themselves in with such----. The need to criticize, judge, get approval for anything you do and have green paper to show for your hard work or intelligence or beauty. Green paper holding so much power over the human heart and the systems of the world is so sad and pathetic as to incite me into a fit of tears and laughter at the same time. The best things in life cannot have any value put onto them with a material object. I dont think anything we ever give, get, or want should ever be paid for, not in that way. Money is not just the root of all evil, it has become a means of holding human beings down. Weve strangled ourselves into an immobile, lethargic, simple life with our own hands. As Tim Kasher put it, One hand will build what the other hand breaks. Yet, if the monetary system is extinguished, will another way be created to continue on the same downward spiral? Is it really human nature, or just a phase before we move on to greater things through expansion of spirituality and consciousness?
Teeter-totter dream or reality, reality or illusion beneath it all there is always the unchangeable me, before the layers get added back on to add variation. You can never change a person, they just find things within themselves.
END OF BLOG
But see it was brought about by completely different things... so it is not the same!!! I just dont have the words this time around
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
I spend a lot of time thinking about all sorts of things, then at some point just as I think I got it figured out, something gets in the way, and I totally lose it. But it feels nice you know...
Oh and dead chicken? Nope, the ferrets would take it from me in a heartbeat and eat it up