shanana

I was told that my journal entries were to dark and depressing as of late. So I have been trying to be more up beat.

I watched "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" last night with my baby, it made me cry. I know, I am an old softy. I cried even more when my baby told me he could never erase my memory

It made me think today, would we, if we could, erase someone from our minds? Would we be more happy if that one person that hurt us so bad were gone? Would we be the same? Everyone that we come in contact with changes us in a way, or at least changes the way we look at something.

Then, when I think about pain, pain so deep that I would erase it from my mind if I could, I think about her. (here I go, tripping into dark and depressing, sorry baby) If I could would I erase her from my mind, would it make me better? Sometimes I wish that I could, but then I would hate to lose the good memories with the bad. The laughter and fun, her smile, her laughter that would light up a room. I have decided that NO I would not erase her... that would remove a part of me I don't want to lose. So with the joy, I will take the pain.

I think that was the point of the movie, if you remove the memories, you remove the good as well as the bad.

I am glad that my baby would not erase me... I told him he couldn't I was to deep, to much there... he would lose to much, and I know that is true about me as well.

So the question is... would you erase someone if you could, the memory of them in your mind, the good and the bad?

My answer to that is no, not for a second.... for all the pain that I have suffered in my life, I have enjoyed overwheling joy. For every tear there has been laughter. For every frown a smile. For every heart break... an overwhelming love for a time.

Things to think about... I find myself thinking a lot today.