Today I dressed in one of my best office manager outfits trying to dress the part so I will feel the part. I really dont even want to be here today but with the doctor out I have to be here. Only one of us can be gone at a time. I didnt spike my hair, combed it down, just want to look well I dont know like a boss I guess. (Although all of the mods kind of take away from that.)
There is a lot going threw my head this morning. I miss certain people that used to be in my life and have hurt certain people in my life and I really regret it. Sometimes my heart betrays me. Hind sight is 20/20 they say and I do believe it. I know that if I knew back then what I know now I would not have done some of the things I did. Doesnt make since unless you were there but I was and I wonder if I made the wrong choices. This is not to say that I dont love my life and where I am, there are just a few people missing from it that I think would have made it better. I was my choice, kind of, so I have to live with it and most days I can. Today is just hard. I dreamt about them last night and it made me miss them more.
The work is piling up on my desk and I dont even want to look at it. I just want to go back home, crawl back into bed and sleep. Maybe then I can see them again. I could cry but I wont not at work.
My mouth is swollen when will that go down. I am trying not to talk to much just when I need to. I love getting new stuff but hate the healing part of it.
I almost tripped yesterday on my way home. I was stepping over a beam and almost lost my balance. I caught myself with my leg and now I have an awesome bruise from it. Oh well that is life I guess at least I didnt falllol.
Well I guess I need to get to work. Forgive my ranting. I will recover I always do. That is why the words surviving life are tattooed on my back in Japanese letters, because I have and can survive. They say if it dont kill you, it makes you stronger.
D
There is a lot going threw my head this morning. I miss certain people that used to be in my life and have hurt certain people in my life and I really regret it. Sometimes my heart betrays me. Hind sight is 20/20 they say and I do believe it. I know that if I knew back then what I know now I would not have done some of the things I did. Doesnt make since unless you were there but I was and I wonder if I made the wrong choices. This is not to say that I dont love my life and where I am, there are just a few people missing from it that I think would have made it better. I was my choice, kind of, so I have to live with it and most days I can. Today is just hard. I dreamt about them last night and it made me miss them more.
The work is piling up on my desk and I dont even want to look at it. I just want to go back home, crawl back into bed and sleep. Maybe then I can see them again. I could cry but I wont not at work.
My mouth is swollen when will that go down. I am trying not to talk to much just when I need to. I love getting new stuff but hate the healing part of it.
I almost tripped yesterday on my way home. I was stepping over a beam and almost lost my balance. I caught myself with my leg and now I have an awesome bruise from it. Oh well that is life I guess at least I didnt falllol.
Well I guess I need to get to work. Forgive my ranting. I will recover I always do. That is why the words surviving life are tattooed on my back in Japanese letters, because I have and can survive. They say if it dont kill you, it makes you stronger.
D
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
xaqary:
we're buddies -
roby:
hey hey hey people mistake me for winona too. well, not really mistake. they say, "hey, you look a little bit like winona ryder." and that's the closest i've ever gotten to looking like anybody.