Some major developments are about to take place for me. I am trying to stay upbeat about this but at the same point and time it is a little frustrating. The woman I have been in a relationship for the last 11 years will no longer be in my life. What frustrates me about this is how it ended quite honestly. I have spent the last 13 years of my life in the same house I have owned and lived in until 2 months ago. 2 months ago at her request I chose to move away from my home I felt safe in for so long to move to an entirely new city about an hour away from my old home.
I honestly believed we were doing well and for the time we were here we were doing great. I guess my problem in the end was trust. I am an extremely trusting and faithful person. I found out last week; after a concert I was not invited to go to with her, that she did in fact spend the night with one of the guys she went to the show with. The next 4 days after the concert she was leaving the house and not coming home until extremely late into the night. She was avoiding me out of guilt. I finally asked her about it. She told me what had happened. The last 11 years of my life were suddenly crashing away from me. The guy she stayed with she has feelings for. This brings me to my next issue.
I'm not an angry or jaded person. I think of myself as actually pretty easy going and obviously too trusting after all of this happened, but I firmly believe that if you are indeed unhappy in a relationship that you should say so. If you feel there is no way to save it than please just say so. If she had told me this and said she just needed to end this before sleeping with someone she cared about than do you think I would have tried to force her to stay? I guess that brings me to the last part.
Am I one of the last people out there who really believes that cheating is just not an option in a relationship? I mean I'm not perfect and let's face it no one is. But I loved the imperfections in this woman. It's what made her so special to me. Those were for me. I never had to share those things with anyone, and it was those things that I truly appreciated because those were the things that people were never aware of in the first place.
And I'm sorry but when I heard this song it perfectly describes how I feel in the first place.
In the end I will go on. It makes me a stronger and hopefully better person in the process. I just for the first time I think in my life have no idea where I will be going and for some reason that really scares me. Like I said I left my home to come out here and in the end it almost feels like she was setting me up for this. That's what bothers me most. I gave up a lot to come out here and now I'm ending up leaving with no home to go back to. Life goes on and this too shall pass. I do know in the future (distant at that right now) I will make someone happy because I work my ass off in relationships to make sure her needs are taken care of and not just my own. That's just how I was raised. I wish my ex happiness as well. Life is too short to be bitter, angry, and jaded. I just never really thought this would have happened to me with how honest I am with those I love and care for.
I honestly believed we were doing well and for the time we were here we were doing great. I guess my problem in the end was trust. I am an extremely trusting and faithful person. I found out last week; after a concert I was not invited to go to with her, that she did in fact spend the night with one of the guys she went to the show with. The next 4 days after the concert she was leaving the house and not coming home until extremely late into the night. She was avoiding me out of guilt. I finally asked her about it. She told me what had happened. The last 11 years of my life were suddenly crashing away from me. The guy she stayed with she has feelings for. This brings me to my next issue.
I'm not an angry or jaded person. I think of myself as actually pretty easy going and obviously too trusting after all of this happened, but I firmly believe that if you are indeed unhappy in a relationship that you should say so. If you feel there is no way to save it than please just say so. If she had told me this and said she just needed to end this before sleeping with someone she cared about than do you think I would have tried to force her to stay? I guess that brings me to the last part.
Am I one of the last people out there who really believes that cheating is just not an option in a relationship? I mean I'm not perfect and let's face it no one is. But I loved the imperfections in this woman. It's what made her so special to me. Those were for me. I never had to share those things with anyone, and it was those things that I truly appreciated because those were the things that people were never aware of in the first place.
And I'm sorry but when I heard this song it perfectly describes how I feel in the first place.
In the end I will go on. It makes me a stronger and hopefully better person in the process. I just for the first time I think in my life have no idea where I will be going and for some reason that really scares me. Like I said I left my home to come out here and in the end it almost feels like she was setting me up for this. That's what bothers me most. I gave up a lot to come out here and now I'm ending up leaving with no home to go back to. Life goes on and this too shall pass. I do know in the future (distant at that right now) I will make someone happy because I work my ass off in relationships to make sure her needs are taken care of and not just my own. That's just how I was raised. I wish my ex happiness as well. Life is too short to be bitter, angry, and jaded. I just never really thought this would have happened to me with how honest I am with those I love and care for.