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shachia

Member Since 2002

Followers 8 Following 3

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Monday Sep 09, 2002

Sep 8, 2002
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I want to taste from action and non-ado simultaneously. I want to bathe in living, breathing, pulsing flesh. And I want to play the part of the monk. If I journey the path of flesh for a while, do I cease to be a monk? Can I be holy, devout and pure, and lose myself in a figmentary reality, emotions, feeling and desires.

Where is my emptiness, where is my fullness? If I walk the middle path am I losing touch of both poles. Eventually I fall between the crack in the road. I have taken to little of each, and now I am lost without wisdom or understanding.

I conceive of wisdom, I conceive of knowledge. I draw from both, pull and weave. But where is meaning, understanding. I am curious what other people consider of the meaning of life. i have heard enough from philosophers. Their thoughts are unconcerned. There is a simplicity in the desires of the atheists I know. They exclude God, most of them ignore the search for meaning entirely. I feel like perhaps that is the point in the first place. Meaning cannot *be* found, it cannot be *conceived* of. It can only be lived. Then I consider that I am working my way back to Camus. How long I have loved Camus' writing. And again I work my way back to something like his way of thinking.

I think that if I gave up on the search for understanding and instead just devoted myself to enjoying life I might find at the end that the ends were the same.

The Sun is often associated with the Masculine element. Power (meaning more like Will) and Knowledge are often associated with the masculine principle (contrasting Wisdom). The masculine is the active principle representing trials, attempting, ado. The Sun is the source of all energy, similarly it is the source of all power, all activity. The Oracle of Delphi was associated with Apollo, god of the Sun, the oracle in turn being associated with knowledge. Again, connections abound. Many of these are not my favorite things.

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