sgtrha

Well folks, I have been away for a little while...November 11th always gets me a bit down and activates my PTSD a bit...so I lay low everywhere.

Now that winter is really on the way it is windy as all get out no snow just yet but I know that there is plenty coming! Got the winter tires swapped out yesterday...it had been a while...
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I am beginning to feel like that favourite coffee mug people have that they just can't give up on, it's been thrown in anger and smashed, but then glued back together in hopes it is okay. For a while it is, holding together well keeping everything in, but then it gets dropped again, the glue weakens and things are leaking and falling apart.

I am...
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So it's now time for the trip for my annual conference, and I am usually very excited about it, however this year seems different. For some reason my anxiety level is starting to creep up and I am beginning to dread the thought of even traveling... I love trips!

Well fuck it, I am still going...have to push through and I will deal with it...
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I do love my days off, the ability to just lounge and slowly wake up after throwing down half a bottle of scotch.... Yeah I am completely back to drinking. I figured there was no point in trying to be sober when I was the only one trying. Anyway...

I am currently sitting on my deck watching the sky turn a beautiful bright blue, sipping...
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So, I have been away from the site for a little while trying to find balance in my life. It hasn't been exactly easy, of course it never is, between this time of year being absolutely shitty for me and my PTSD....anniversaries are often the worst time to try and keep moving, and my partner having returned to drinking....balance has been very elusive.

I hate...
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