sgt_shaw

Missed Youth

I miss being young. I look at my pictures and realize I'm never going to get that back. I never even knew what I had until I didn't have it anymore. I took it for granted and wanted to grow up so fast. I was sitting on the bus yesterday and had a realization that I'm almost middle aged and my looks are slowly fading away. My nose and ears will continue to grow and I Will soon take on the appearance of a 30 year old man. The thing that bothers me the most is I know If I live that long I'll become an old man like the 100's I see at the VA hospital shuffling along with their walkers. And I think to myself I'd rather be dead.

I want to die with a meaning. Doing some thin g like dieing in battle or in a mind blowing accident. I want to be a victim of tragedy, not just some old man who has to wear diapers because he has reverted back to an infant and can't control his bowels. Maybe I'm looking into this too much and am just being ignorant of the inevitableoh well

K I'm going to go get some lunch
While feeling scared scared
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