sfdeep

a good friend of mine just came home after almost a year in India. we got together with a few other friends who have also recently moved back into the city at a bar in the Mission. it was sort of a Siberia '03 Burning Man reunion with extra-strong margarita's as the catalyst.

anyway, i have to relate this story. a friend had told me that someone they knew had tried to get a grant so that he could paint with his penis. i mentioned this at the get-together and my friend who had just returned from India says, "oh yeah, he worked in the art studio i own." so he tells me the full story . . .

the artist started off painting with his nose, and had developed a rig that held a paint brush to his nose. apparently, he is very good at it. so then, he gets the idea to paint with his erect penis. he was attending a local art college and was set to have a "performance" there. anyway, when the show came, he ended up taking 6 viagra to help him "keep up" with the demands of the show, but it didn't work (maybe some performance anxiety?) and the paintings ended up being only smears of his flaccid penis.

well, in order to try and avoid this happening again, he calls up a local porn company and inquires how much it would cost to rent a fluffer for 6 hours. apparently, it costs 5 grand for a fluffer (i'm in the wrong business, for sure .) so then he applies for a grant for 5 grand from the government so that he can continue to paint with a hard-on.

from what i gather, he's still waiting to hear back about the money.