sfdeep

"Billy, do you like films about gladiators?"

i would like to have a word added to Webster's Dictionary. the word is "heteroflexible", and its synonym, the more urbane vernacular, "metrosexual." this is translated as " (n.) a male whose coutured dress, stylish appearance, and overall panache, often gets him confused as a homosexual, when in fact he is not gay."

yes, there are men out there who don't need a "queer eye," and just because we understand the benefits of proper hygiene and can shop for ourselves doesn't mean we want to wash your boyfriend's back in the early morning hours.

i think i should elaborate. a very good friend of mine who i haven't seen in 3 years is in the city and asks me to meet him at a nearby club. he's with his new girlfriend, his brother and couple of other friends. inside the club, we catch up, have a drink, they go off dancing. he comes back over, we talk some more, she comes over to get him to dance, she asks me to come join them. we dance, and i'm not dancing at him or anything freaky like that. so, i'm having a good time, the dj is working it out, and he comes up to me and says, "she said i really want you, and then she just walked out of the club."

now, we've been friends for almost ten years. nothing has ever occured between us, and, as far as i know, he's always had girlfriends. also, it wasn't like we were being overly affectionate with each other (it's not like i just walked up to him, grabbed his package, and said "i've missed you"). not to mention the fact that i'm married! anyway, he was upset about it, and i don't know anything about her to gauge her levels of insecurity. but overall, it was just really weird, and really, unnecessary.

so i think "heteroflexible" needs to be added so that the masses can be educated about a little known and oft-misunderstood subculture of men. and please remember, ladies, i'm not after your man, even if i invite him over to watch a couple of prison flicks. and if your man wants me, maybe you just need to work harder.