somebody else who lives in my house needs to get his own fucking life. he's driving me insane!!!! i want my own friends, he should fuck off and his own friends. that's how we've always worked that's how i like it. i live my life and he lives his and then occassionally we'll interact. i do not want to be cuddled at night, i do not want him around all the time, i don't like it that the only time i get any attention is when i'm naked and willing to fuck him. i am not his whore! i don't like the fact that i work my ass off all day and he sits at home and does fucking nothing!!!! he's not trying to do anything with his life.
it really sucks because i'm still in love with the person he used to be. i love the guy i met 5 years ago. i love the person who had drive and ambition. i love the guy who was so emotionally fucked up it was amazing. i never knew anybody could be so messed up. and i loved him that much more for it. i loved when he treated me like he actually wanted me, not like it's my duty to come home after working 8 hours and fuck him. that's not my job, that's not why i married him. i miss the guy that used to be able to carry on a conversation and was actually interesting to talk to. you have to experience something in life to have something interesting to talk about. he doesn't experience anything outside of cartoons and video games. i don't want kids and i don't want to be married to an adult who acts like a child. seriously i make the money, i clean the house, i have to ask him to do fucking anything, i have to put up with shit if god forbid i turn it to the news.
and to top it all off he tells me how to spend money. i fucking earn it you asshole! granted i didn't work for a year, but i also did 60 hours of school in that year. he does nothing!
i just want to cry. i want out, but yet i don't. i just don't want to be with the person he is anymore. i want the person i fell in love with back. i want the person who was interesting and emotionally unavailable and had enough balls to fight with me.
and i know change is inevitable. i mean i've changed. but not in such a drastic manner. i'm still as silly and crazy as ever. i'll bitch anybody out in a second. i yell at little kids in the movies that stand up in front of me. i still get drunk and make out with random people. i still take 5 hours to get ready to go out at night because my hair has to be perfect.
ok sorry about that huge amount of bitching.............
it really sucks because i'm still in love with the person he used to be. i love the guy i met 5 years ago. i love the person who had drive and ambition. i love the guy who was so emotionally fucked up it was amazing. i never knew anybody could be so messed up. and i loved him that much more for it. i loved when he treated me like he actually wanted me, not like it's my duty to come home after working 8 hours and fuck him. that's not my job, that's not why i married him. i miss the guy that used to be able to carry on a conversation and was actually interesting to talk to. you have to experience something in life to have something interesting to talk about. he doesn't experience anything outside of cartoons and video games. i don't want kids and i don't want to be married to an adult who acts like a child. seriously i make the money, i clean the house, i have to ask him to do fucking anything, i have to put up with shit if god forbid i turn it to the news.
and to top it all off he tells me how to spend money. i fucking earn it you asshole! granted i didn't work for a year, but i also did 60 hours of school in that year. he does nothing!
i just want to cry. i want out, but yet i don't. i just don't want to be with the person he is anymore. i want the person i fell in love with back. i want the person who was interesting and emotionally unavailable and had enough balls to fight with me.
and i know change is inevitable. i mean i've changed. but not in such a drastic manner. i'm still as silly and crazy as ever. i'll bitch anybody out in a second. i yell at little kids in the movies that stand up in front of me. i still get drunk and make out with random people. i still take 5 hours to get ready to go out at night because my hair has to be perfect.
ok sorry about that huge amount of bitching.............