sevillus

Three young girls stopped me on the street in hell's kitchen and asked me if I was famous. And I thought...I have 757 followers on twitter.

It isn't prostitution. It's cloud sex.

I recently had a long conversation with your lord and savior.

Yes, that one.

He told me that, now that I've come over to His side, He'd like me to know just how pissed off he is at SuicideGirls. And not just SuicideGirls, but GirlSuicides, SumoGirls, and a stripper He singled out who goes by the name Sue Girlyside.

In fact, pretty much disassociate yourself...
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Brad Pitt says life with Jennifer Aniston was boring.

And I thought life with one of her fans was boring.

Touch *this* base.

It's funny to watch little girls arguing over who is a real geek and who is just a poser geek.

I hate the shot where the photographer tells the model to laugh really hard so we can all see she's just an ordinary "gal."

Science finally looks into why you always see hot thin chicks with porky slobs.

Lonely is having to put down a hooker as your emergency contact.

In Hell's Kitchen tonight a family of three -- man, woman, girl -- tourists were standing beside me at a corner.

They were all blonde. They were all wearing t-shirts. And, of course, the man was wearing cargo shorts. And, of course, the cargo shorts made him look like a clown.

Then I noticed it was real quiet from them. And I looked up. And...
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