THOUGHTS
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A LONG TIME .....
Ive had some time to think about myself. My life is in many ways blessed and many ways cursed. But oftentimes the two are linked .... take this one thing Ive realized about. Its a condition I have a psychological condition.
OVERFOCUS
Basically, I have two options in my life; either dont take my meds and be someone who can never focus on anything for a prolonged length of time or.... suffer from OVERFOCUS; the condition I discovered I have once I got on my meds. You see once I got on my meds I discovered something....because I had never focused on any one object for any significant LENGTH of TIME I hadnt realized, nor had others realized just how focused I was on those things during those brief periods of time.
Once I got on the meds, it was an entirely diffferent story. Suddenly I didnt move from one to the next like I had before my focus on one object lasts now until the task was completed. Doesnt sound too bad huh?
Imagine the task on my mind is a person. Could you imagine the burning lights of a persons entire being pouring into you at once....yeah, its highly unusual....and if someone doesnt know me they consider it creepy or scary. once they do.....it just means its easier to deal with and they know that there are no ulterior motives.
Imagine the task at hand is my current state of depression; feeling that and only that, and exploring everything to its limits.
Basically Ive discovered my condition causes me to burn everybody else out around me; and if I try to multi-task then I burn myself out and dont get anything done.
But if I consider my permonce on any task its generally phenomenal if not a bit mechanical. At work I generally do the work of three or four others. I dont get distracted, I dont get tired, and Im so focused on the task at hand that Im always considering ways to perform more and more efficiently. Similarly with my academic work; never tiring, never getting distracted, always thinking only about the task at hand....ive absorbed mire then 3 or 4 times the amount of knowledge someone at my age should have.
But this is not braggary because as metioned above there is great sacrifice. I can never perform more ten one task at any time, it has a - effective on those around me, and I cant switch from one to another.
I dont know; those were thoughts of the time.
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A LONG TIME .....
Ive had some time to think about myself. My life is in many ways blessed and many ways cursed. But oftentimes the two are linked .... take this one thing Ive realized about. Its a condition I have a psychological condition.
OVERFOCUS
Basically, I have two options in my life; either dont take my meds and be someone who can never focus on anything for a prolonged length of time or.... suffer from OVERFOCUS; the condition I discovered I have once I got on my meds. You see once I got on my meds I discovered something....because I had never focused on any one object for any significant LENGTH of TIME I hadnt realized, nor had others realized just how focused I was on those things during those brief periods of time.
Once I got on the meds, it was an entirely diffferent story. Suddenly I didnt move from one to the next like I had before my focus on one object lasts now until the task was completed. Doesnt sound too bad huh?
Imagine the task on my mind is a person. Could you imagine the burning lights of a persons entire being pouring into you at once....yeah, its highly unusual....and if someone doesnt know me they consider it creepy or scary. once they do.....it just means its easier to deal with and they know that there are no ulterior motives.
Imagine the task at hand is my current state of depression; feeling that and only that, and exploring everything to its limits.
Basically Ive discovered my condition causes me to burn everybody else out around me; and if I try to multi-task then I burn myself out and dont get anything done.
But if I consider my permonce on any task its generally phenomenal if not a bit mechanical. At work I generally do the work of three or four others. I dont get distracted, I dont get tired, and Im so focused on the task at hand that Im always considering ways to perform more and more efficiently. Similarly with my academic work; never tiring, never getting distracted, always thinking only about the task at hand....ive absorbed mire then 3 or 4 times the amount of knowledge someone at my age should have.
But this is not braggary because as metioned above there is great sacrifice. I can never perform more ten one task at any time, it has a - effective on those around me, and I cant switch from one to another.
I dont know; those were thoughts of the time.