I don't really know what to believe as far as guardian angels, but for me, I can make a pretty good case for having one and a good case for not having one. I haven't been watching intervention these past few days and I figured I'd begin a new one. It was about a heroin addict who was molested as a kid and also had...
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It's still very shocking to me that I did it. I did it three times. The positive is that I can't really relate to whatever was going on in my head at the time so it's something that I'm leaving in the past. Which brings me to today's reading, which was all about resentment. This is an experience that I'm all too familiar with. I...
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I kinda feel very out of touch with my greek fellows. My excuse is a good one though, I've been focusing on gym related activities. I'm very nervous though because I'm probably headed to the beach next weekend and probably wont loose any weight but gain weight. It's going to be up to me to go for a walk but judging by today, thats going...
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update...theres a part of me that says I haven't moved on. Theres an entire me that says I still avoid confrontation and avoid problems. That's kinda the 'subconcious reasoning' behind my message with the lesbian. I don't se her anymore, I don't talk to her anymore, and I don't think about her anymore. However, her name makes me nervous. I can't look at this girls...
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Well, I think my last post is indicative of how something's a brewin inside of me, and when somethings a'brewin inside of me, I usually do something I'll regret, so hopefully I can sort it out here and avoid doing something I'll regret. I sent an message to the lesbian chic, I had this whole email typed out about how I was in a 'blind'...
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I was so disgusted yesterday that I didn't even want to type anything in here. I got down to 96.7, went out, drank a beer and lots of water and ended up at 99...ugh...today was kinda the same thing but I'm not upset, cause I told myself its just water, nobody ever got fat from water. I dunno, I typed out this whole message to...
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I can't see all my journal entries, but I can see the dates where I've done one and looks like I've been keeping this updated for a week now so that's a good sign. I'm kind of starting to think that this journal is becoming my meeting. I don't think that yesterday I mentioned I went for a walk. I never do anything exercise wise...
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I've been doing a lot of typing to one of my old friends from PA who is a recovering addict. I broke down last week and depserately needed someone to talk to, I actually declared that my messages be some form of a meeting. it's just kinda odd because I have a lot of knowledge in my head but I've been here for a year...
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Well this sucks. I'm actually dying to go out, something I haven't experienced for a while and I've called like five people and nothings working. I'm actually tired of listening to music.. I think I'm going to go out and buy some comfort food and just depress my life away. I really wish I'd get motivated enough tomorrow morning and go for a walk. Weekends...
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Last year in April, I had this feeling of "I guess I'm just not cool enough to be a junkie," since my insurance company refused to pay any expenses for a gambling rehab. I actually thought about trying some kind of substance, just so that I could get hooked and then I could go to a rehab. I had mentioned in a previous entry about...
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