sertraline

I turned 34 on Thursday and there was no dramatic feelings or feeling bad or anything even remotely like it. I've been feeling very upbeat the past week and I hope it continues. You know, I'm not going to lie, I think about NJ very very often. Whenever I'm doing something here that's boring or stupid, I think about my decision. I think about the...
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People all around me are counting the days till they leave. The past couple of days, I've felt very warm and satisfied and it's awkward but I'm welcoming it. Still doing my old bad habits. Maybe tomorrow as a birthday present I'll give myself a new life and stop this shit. I've been thinking a lot about my future and where to go. I'd ideally...
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I don't have to feel like this anymore. Wondering how I'm going to eat or how I'm going to smoke or how I'm going to pay someone back. I fully acknowledge that I want too much in too short a time but it's all psychological and I came here to change so I should change. Focus focus focus. I just want one fucking day without...
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well, since I'm here I might as well post something. I did a lot today in terms of cleaning. I purposely left at 5 so that I couldn't gamble. Now I'm starting to think again about quitting. Its just that when I wake up, I want one so bad that I don't care as much as I do later on in the day. Once I...
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still gambling like a mofo, still can't stop smoking, in fact I've given up the thought. I haven't tackled the gym yet. I'm tired and I'm very uncertain about my future and I"m starting to see hotties and it's really bothering me. ugh. I feel so ugly

I have returned from my vacation of ten days and am not looking forward to this month. Not only will it be my birthday, but it will fucking drag and drag and drag. Once April gets here, I think I will be psychologically more better because July 29 will not seem so distant. I am still smoking, still gambling, still eating. I don't know what...
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I am not at a 'desperate' moment yet regarding smoking. If I am going to understand anything about addiction, I have to stop this horrible habit. I'm afraid that at this point, I just don't 'get it' and it will take a turn for the worse. Now that I am leaving the military environment for a few days, I should be able to get a...
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I'm headed home on Sunday for ten days and I'm not really excited about it. It's going to feel great being able to sleep in and all but I really don't care. I am not sure on my future and it's making me anxious. I might have to pay a fine, do extra military time, or who knows what and all because I wanted to...
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I was training at another facility the other day and one of the guys started playing a porno of Jenna Jameson. I've heard of her for years but I never bothered to actually see her and I'd say she's pretty hot, but just by listening to the moaning, I felt horrible for even wanting to watch porn. I'm basically getting off to someone elses problems,...
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I have been in a very upbeat mood lately. I don't know if I've made any 'important discoveries' about myself but I have definitely been keeping my emotions in check. Can't say I've had any mental breakdowns or crying or even whining for that matter. I've found out that putting pressure on myself is a good thing and when things get tough it's good for...
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