On countless occasions, this place feels like hell. Constant screaming, hypocrisy, horsing around, and there ain't a damn thing I can do about it or whine about it because the fact is, this is much better than doing military time in Greece. I still haven't been paid and I don't think I will get paid until March because I am leaving for Greece next week and when I return, I will leave for another 'section' and won't be back until mid Feb for training. Many times, I find myself wanting to cry, but most times I'm just numb and every day I think about New Jersey and if I made the right decision. I always conclude that yes I did make the right decision because I believe I'd be dead, plain and simple. Only the fact that I knew I'd go to see my family is what kept me from gambling and trying suicide again. Why do I feel like I want to end up back there? On paper, I don't belong there, I have no one to go to there and nothing. I have no one to talk to, no one to associate with, and all in all, I'm whining again.
More Blogs
-
0
Friday Jul 29, 2011
yesterday, I got an email from some website asking me to join them. I… -
0
Friday Jul 29, 2011
ok, so, I went to the gym twice today! At noon for half an hour and t… -
0
Friday Jul 29, 2011
I had thos whole passage typed away here and then I hit some button a… -
0
Thursday Jul 28, 2011
For some of us, the past is such a hard thing to let go of. Letting g… -
0
Tuesday Jul 26, 2011
looks like I'm gonna be a slave to the smokes today. I weigh 100.5 an… -
0
Tuesday Jul 26, 2011
My gambling took over my entire body a year ago. It still haunts me r… -
0
Tuesday Jul 26, 2011
my biggest flaw is that I care too much into others opinons and not m… -
0
Monday Jul 25, 2011
It's around 10pm right now. I'm in an emotional state of chaos, well,… -
0
Friday Jul 22, 2011
woke up 7:04am, immediately smoked...drank some water, weighed 100.8.… -
0
Thursday Jul 21, 2011
ok, well, I've determined that my desire to stop smoking is not stron…