sertraline

I'm currently in a crisis. Well, not really, in fact nothing near a crisis, but I'm making it into one. I haven't worked out in over two weeks, and am constantly sleeping and watching movies or doing something unproductive. I have managed to go out a couple of times but not like I should. What I'm supposed to be doing is expanding my social network and workout. I say this because I don't have any friends here, a few acquaintances, but no one I can count on. What I do have is my family who I can count on. Despite this unmotivational time period, and I hope its just a phase, I haven't really gained any weight. Pretty much stuck at 97kg. I'm constantly dragging my brain to think about and remember my past but I can't really seem to grasp any of it. I have memories and all, but I simply cannot identify with how I was thinking or what. I am still reading the one day at a time book, and it had a series of readings about comparing your past and making out the differences from it. In this light, I should be extremely happy or at least relieved because the mental madness and misery that I once had, is now gone (for now anyway). It's confusing because on the one hand, I don't feel miserable, but yet I am very lazy. Its like I'm just waiting for someone or something to ignite my fire so I can burn again. I call this the 'care factor'. My care factor was extremely low or non-existent a couple years ago, and today it's low to moderate low. How do I improve my care factor? I think the only answer I have is that I still have unreasonable expectations of myself and this makes me want to quit. Actually, I'm just dancing around the real problem which is smoking. I will not speak for anyone else, but this habit is what's actually causing me all this laziness and or depression. I know if I give it up, within a month it will be drastically different but yet I don't make much of an attempt to stop it. I've been constantly thinking about it and yet I still do it...ugh..