sertraline

yesterday, I got an email from some website asking me to join them. It said that this lesbian chic I was obsessed with a couple years ago was asking me to join. I'm very certain that someone either hacked into her email list or she doesn't use that email anymore. But it raised an important issue that i've kinda been dabbing on and off with these past few days which is the past. I think since my clean date, I've been able at least realize that I need to get on track to a better me. Regardless of how sporadic my gambling has been this past year, and even though it has not caused any problems, I definitely am not where I need to be psychologicaly. Look, I don't know how long I'm going to continue doing this blog, maybe one day, maybe ten years, but I think I've already proven to myself that this is working for me. So, what I want to say about my past is that it's full of events that I did and things I did and things done to me that are full of embarassment. I'm very ashamed at a lot of the things I've done and said, in particular to women. This lesbian chic is high on the list of embarassments. I also just got a friend request from a girl I went to high school with and also had a crush on when we reconnected. I ended up sending this email to her about god knows what, all I know is that I'm pretty sure I told her how I feel and thats that. Maybe she didn't read it, but I'm assuming she did so the friend request came as a surprise. I don't care if she's on my fb or not, the more the merrier for me, but what I do know that alll addicts need to do is find a way to deal with their pasts. Some of us have gone through trauma, some of us were partiers who didn't know when to stop, and some of us just plain didn't know how to deal with our issues. I know what category I fall in and I've already contacted a couple people that I did stuff to, the girl I was describing on my entry from 2010 and this lady I worked with in new jersey. I said what I wanted to and asked for forgiveness. So I'm contemplating on doing the same thing with these two chics. I was mentally preparing myself for emailing this girl and then I said, nah, deal with it some other time. Believe me, these are embarassing moments and I feel very ashamed, but I acknowledge that I said whatever I said but it hasn't been an issue for so long that I've forgotten about them. Now I believve that I should send them messages about how wrong I was and ask for forgiveness, but I don't know if now is the right time. I'm trying to forget these people and the place........well not forget, I don't ever want to forget, but I want my focus to be on Greece and Greeks. I kinda dont want them in my life and am worried that if I send an apology letter, would they view it as me asking them to let me in their lives?