sertraline

woke up 7:04am, immediately smoked...drank some water, weighed 100.8.smoked again...checked out the internet...sigh...I think I'm going to go and get some breakfast and perhaps see this blonde chic although I don't understand whats going to come out of this cause I know it will be in vain. I am definitely looking forward to the gym however.. Need to keep it active today, at least go walking somewhere...ugh..I don't get it, when I don't pay attention to the scale, it's fine...when I do pay attention to it, it's not fine..I get so overly obsessed with it that it just plays a major mindfuck game on me and I end up feeling bad..

hour 2) smokin like a chimney..went to the cafe, but didn't see the blonde chic..when I stood up to leave, I saw her..beautiful! You know how you can tell a persons character just by looking into their eyes? She must be so sweet..sigh...and then thoughts race in my head about how I can't have her..hell, maybe shes not single maybe she is and isn't looking..I need to take these things into consideration..fuck it....and then the avalanche starts and within a minute I want to die..why oh why can't I have a woman like that? Wah more pouting more whining...I need to go there tomorrow and see if I have any flirt skills

hour 3) now 9:15..I'm ready for a nap again...

hour4) napped, smoked...not wanting to go to the gym..motherfuck everyone and everything...sigh whine so fucking kill me, I don't care..

hour uh..damn, it's 3pm hour 9? so I slept until an hour ago..clothes are drying so no gym..yet...not really hungry either but I"m sure that will change during the day so breaking 98 will not happen..now I'm 100.7...ah well, maybe I can shoot for 99.5?

this whole day went to shit. I smoked a lot, didnt go to the gym, and am feelin extremely anxious