The past ten months haven't really been that eventful for me in terms of psychological drama. I've been out more times, done more things with people, been doing really. There are so many beautiful women here that it's kinda hard for me to crush on anyone. Thing is, there's a lot more superficiality as well. I live in a town of 40k, so a lot of people know each other and all the things that come with being in a small town. In terms of my psychological health...the reality of it is that I'm a hell of a lot better than where I came from. I have no job, no income, and yet this doesn't seem to affect me. I live with my parents, no rent, don't have to pay for food, no car, no car payments, no insurance, no traffic....many times though I just don't feel up to par. For a while, I would used the fact that I was living here as pure motivation and to make myself feel better. That's kinda run out. Believe me, the mere idea of heading back to the US is discouraging and makes me appreciate my situation a lot, but I think I'm lacking goals. I've always been the type of person who looks forward to stuff. Currently, there isn't anything to look forward to. It's summer and this is my absolute favorite time of the year, but I dunno,..whatev
4) I'm a drama-queen. I whine a lot..I acknowledge this but not accept it. This is something that many others have told me so there must be some truth to it. I'd prefer to think of it as I'm more passionate about things lol
5) I'm a highly sensitive biotch...yea I'm making a joke of it, but its reality. It kinda ties in all together...I'm sensitive, over react, impulsive, suicide...I don't know how to change this...this feels like a heavy bag of shit is placed in my lap, and I'm looking down at it but I don't know what to do. ?
6)absent minded...and clumsy...many times I'll place a pack of cigarettes on the table, go to the bathroom or something and forget what I did with them. Last night I was walking with my dad and all of a sudden fell down on my knees cause I didn't notice a dip in the sidewalk..I skinned my knee..?
I'm 90 percent thinking that smoking is what's been causing me all these problems. I really believe if I stop it, I'll feel much much better. Can I do this? This would be the biggest accomplishment of my life if I did...we'll see.
4) I'm a drama-queen. I whine a lot..I acknowledge this but not accept it. This is something that many others have told me so there must be some truth to it. I'd prefer to think of it as I'm more passionate about things lol
5) I'm a highly sensitive biotch...yea I'm making a joke of it, but its reality. It kinda ties in all together...I'm sensitive, over react, impulsive, suicide...I don't know how to change this...this feels like a heavy bag of shit is placed in my lap, and I'm looking down at it but I don't know what to do. ?
6)absent minded...and clumsy...many times I'll place a pack of cigarettes on the table, go to the bathroom or something and forget what I did with them. Last night I was walking with my dad and all of a sudden fell down on my knees cause I didn't notice a dip in the sidewalk..I skinned my knee..?
I'm 90 percent thinking that smoking is what's been causing me all these problems. I really believe if I stop it, I'll feel much much better. Can I do this? This would be the biggest accomplishment of my life if I did...we'll see.