sertraline

I found out yesterday that this girl wont be in work for a couple of weeks because she hurt her leg. I wish her a speedy recovery wherever she may be. So that being said, my thoughts focused on another girl who I've known for a while now. The past couple of weeks we've been hanging out a lot and she is really starting to open up to me. I've gained her trust which is exactly what I want. However, these evil lustful thoughts come into my head and throw me off track. I found out inderectly today that I'm not her type which made me feel good and jealous at the same time. I don't want a girlfriend relationship out of her because it would feel awkward. I'm not sure if she knows how I feel about her and I'm worried that if she does find out, it will affect our friendship in a negative way. So, this is why I'm finding it increasingly difficult to stay alive. With the art store chic, I have to wait another couple weeks before I will get to see her and perhaps ask her out for a cup of coffee. I know I will torture myself to death over this because two weeks will feel like an eternity. On the other hand, I'm beggining to make it a habit to go out each night either to a movie or to the bookstore by myself. I am starting to tell girls how beautiful they are or some article of clothing/accesory looks nice. So far, I've had a couple of odd times, but generally speaking it's been positive. I had an amazing conversation with two girls today at hot topic and am very pleased that when the conversation was over, I didn't feel that it was pointless as I will probably never see them again. I also have one of these wristbands which has turned out to be an amazing conversation starter

So while I do feel hopeless a lot of the time, I'm also beggining to realize that trying to turn my life around in a 180 direction is a very painful process because I have to look at myself each and every step of the way and quite frankly, I don't like me right now. But I'm making progress and know that if I at least go through the motions and have patience, I will feel much better about what I'm doing.