This week at school I learned many interesting things. Most them are probably interesting only to me. I get to turn in all of resumes and cover letters tomorrow. This makes me apprehensive. I still don't have all of my grades from last term. I only have one out of five. I need to not think about that because I keep thinking law school grades will perk me up. All they do realistically is disappoint me.
This term I'm taking a massive course load: Comparative Criminal Procedure Seminar, Secured Transactions, Constitutional Law II, Federal Income Tax and Federal Criminal Law. Ouch.
This week I also got a bit relationship shock too. I can't really put it into words, but it hurts my head. I guess I did a stupid girl thing and thought things were more serious. Oh well, probably better I get on with being single forever.
When men have successful careers and ambitions, women swoon.
When women have successful careers and ambitions, men run.
Fuck it. I'll probably be better off by myself in the long run. It's just hard to chase away all of those fantasies about a happy life together.
I don't need to put my career on hold for anymore relationships.
I knew I was being immature, but right now I don't care. More than angry, more than hurt, more than anything I felt stupid. I had taken our relationship far too seriously.
When I said I had a lot personally invested in it, he said "like what? What have you personally invested?" I didn't have an answer, but that hurt so much.
I had visions of wedding dresses I didn't have any business having. Stupid little girl dreams of white dresses and kidlets. Maybe because he said he wanted to move to Alaska with me and have kids and cabin. He said that so he could go to football game on Christmas Day and leave me at his parents house.
I see it now. I'm not that special. So it's time to pack up and start moving away. I wanted to stay, closed off and insulated from any other potential hurts. But I don't know if I am capable of carrying out that kind of long term charade, even if it's a charade of self-protection. All I can do now is shut down.
This term I'm taking a massive course load: Comparative Criminal Procedure Seminar, Secured Transactions, Constitutional Law II, Federal Income Tax and Federal Criminal Law. Ouch.
This week I also got a bit relationship shock too. I can't really put it into words, but it hurts my head. I guess I did a stupid girl thing and thought things were more serious. Oh well, probably better I get on with being single forever.
When men have successful careers and ambitions, women swoon.
When women have successful careers and ambitions, men run.
Fuck it. I'll probably be better off by myself in the long run. It's just hard to chase away all of those fantasies about a happy life together.
I don't need to put my career on hold for anymore relationships.
I knew I was being immature, but right now I don't care. More than angry, more than hurt, more than anything I felt stupid. I had taken our relationship far too seriously.
When I said I had a lot personally invested in it, he said "like what? What have you personally invested?" I didn't have an answer, but that hurt so much.
I had visions of wedding dresses I didn't have any business having. Stupid little girl dreams of white dresses and kidlets. Maybe because he said he wanted to move to Alaska with me and have kids and cabin. He said that so he could go to football game on Christmas Day and leave me at his parents house.
I see it now. I'm not that special. So it's time to pack up and start moving away. I wanted to stay, closed off and insulated from any other potential hurts. But I don't know if I am capable of carrying out that kind of long term charade, even if it's a charade of self-protection. All I can do now is shut down.