serenekerosene

Kay, somebody finally asked where I was at, so I'll finally post.

I have been simply too odd feeling and such to post.

I don't know what to say to Derek in the email I'm supposed to write him back. On one hand, I want to bitch and yell and scream. Another part of me wants to be super nice and civil. And yet another part of me wants to ask what went so wrong in our relationship. And another part of me is afraid to know the answer. Although I was a fucking awesome girlfriend. And always will be a fucking awesome girlfriend to whomever I'm dating. Too bad people don't know that. Too bad I don't get dates.

I told my friend Pj what I think about us. (I think we'd be awesome together). He said he'd think about it. I don't know what he's thinking. Recently, he hasn't been talking to me as much. So I have no idea what the fuck is going on. So reminicent of my life. Woo.

I also half-assedly tried to let my friend Lauren know how I feel about her. However, that's a lot harder, because we've known each other for longer, and well, you know, she's a chick. She bi, but she's still a chick. Makes me feel a lot more akward.

And my friends' love lives are booming. Good for them, sad for me. I wish I could have a good thing.

However, I will stop sounding mopey. It's the holiday season, you know. This year has fucking sucked. These holidays aren't going so good this year. Not just for me, but for everybody around me.

I can't wait until 2005.

I hope all of you are having an absolutely lovely holiday, and a wonderful year, and such and such, and I will post again soon!