So, I've been hiding out, in bed, and such, which explains my odd absence for the last couple of days.
I went on a smoking binge (bad me) and yeah, went through a few days not quite at my normal level. I've been thinking about alot of things recently, and I semi-snapped, and yeah, thought about hooking up with somebody. But I did not. Because 1) I'm not attracted to anybody who is attacted to me and 2) I am better than the goobers that keep trying to get somewhere.
I've pretty much broken up with asshole-boyfriend guy. It's pretty much a technicality by this point. We haven't talked in 6-7 weeks. No phone calls, nothing. I call, I email, no "We need to talks" to scare him off, just pleasant stuff, and he doesn't respond. So, I'm assuming that this is the "I'm gonna ignore you because I don't have the decency to break-up with you" thing, and if it's not, he's one of the most moronic males I've met relationship-wise. He has to understand that this isn't a relationship at this point. And I'm tired of being mis-treated and taken for granted and ignored.
So here I am: back in the dating cesspool. (I think, although the technical part hasn't really been officialized yet.)
Sometimes I really question whether I will ever find someone that I am attracted to, both mentally and physically (usually it's the mentally, and the physically follows, just because, but I've never had a date with someone whom I would have thought, if seeing them walk across the street, "WOW!
").
I want to know what it's like to be appreciated.
I want to know what it's like to be someone who isn't always scrutinizing who you are, but loves you for who you are.
I want someone who will lay in a cuddle puddle with me, and just talk, and get stoned.
I want someone who isn't sexually repressed. My dear god.
I want someone who makes my heart skip a beat, no matter when I see them, and it never gets old.
IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!?!?!?!?!
Ok, I am done bitching now. I am going insane. Do not mind the crazy person in the corner. *rocks in the corner, singing to self*
I think I was going to go farther with this. But I'm not at the moment. Because I am busy going crazy. I will post later, when I am not so crazy.
I went on a smoking binge (bad me) and yeah, went through a few days not quite at my normal level. I've been thinking about alot of things recently, and I semi-snapped, and yeah, thought about hooking up with somebody. But I did not. Because 1) I'm not attracted to anybody who is attacted to me and 2) I am better than the goobers that keep trying to get somewhere.
I've pretty much broken up with asshole-boyfriend guy. It's pretty much a technicality by this point. We haven't talked in 6-7 weeks. No phone calls, nothing. I call, I email, no "We need to talks" to scare him off, just pleasant stuff, and he doesn't respond. So, I'm assuming that this is the "I'm gonna ignore you because I don't have the decency to break-up with you" thing, and if it's not, he's one of the most moronic males I've met relationship-wise. He has to understand that this isn't a relationship at this point. And I'm tired of being mis-treated and taken for granted and ignored.
So here I am: back in the dating cesspool. (I think, although the technical part hasn't really been officialized yet.)
Sometimes I really question whether I will ever find someone that I am attracted to, both mentally and physically (usually it's the mentally, and the physically follows, just because, but I've never had a date with someone whom I would have thought, if seeing them walk across the street, "WOW!
").
I want to know what it's like to be appreciated.
I want to know what it's like to be someone who isn't always scrutinizing who you are, but loves you for who you are.
I want someone who will lay in a cuddle puddle with me, and just talk, and get stoned.
I want someone who isn't sexually repressed. My dear god.
I want someone who makes my heart skip a beat, no matter when I see them, and it never gets old.
IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!?!?!?!?!
Ok, I am done bitching now. I am going insane. Do not mind the crazy person in the corner. *rocks in the corner, singing to self*
I think I was going to go farther with this. But I'm not at the moment. Because I am busy going crazy. I will post later, when I am not so crazy.
that is not too much to ask. it's exatcly what you get when you see that special someone.
you shouldnt lose your sanity over this, its just what seems to be a pretty standard set of expectations.
dont give up on this...and there are a lot of good people on this site...
Relationships are hard. People are hard. I like what Charles Bukowski had to say: "I don't hate people--I just seem to feel better when they are not around."
I hope you find that special someone. I really do.